-:: jannz chatters ::-

Oh my gosh...I'm hitched!

2009-07-27T15:33:00.006+08:00

Can't believe I'm married!

Always thought that I would be settling down in my 30s - u know, with hectic job, crazy mother (joking!), negative bank account balance........bla bla bla...

Yet...

As the saying goes, love knocks you in the head when you least expected it!

I have.......in my mind, thousands of things to say but could not quite sum it up in writings, so am just leaving this blog (what I suspect to be my last posting for the year.....or ever, its possible) with a picture of my beloved husband who is also my bestfriends these days and years to come...
Cheers~!!

Finally..

2008-09-23T20:55:00.003+08:00

I'm leaving KL this 30th.

I will head to Penang for Raya celebration and to report to work first thing on the next Monday. I feel kindda trilled with the idea of living out a suitcase - not knowing where I'll stay and not knowing which exact town I'll be covering for work.

Woohhoooooo...let the adventure begin~!!!!!!!

eat anything with four legs except a table...

2008-09-03T21:15:00.034+08:00

The Group HR Manager ask me why I join Company X and my answer wasn't a brilliant one - I just love food!!

Since I never take culinary into serious consideration for a career (I don't know, it never crossed my mind thou I love to cook) and because I could not pursue to become a food critic (because of my religion's say can not eat anything non-halal), the only option to be close to food is either to work in a restaurant or a job in a food manufacturing company! ;p

Work is fun so far.

Was very fortunate to travel around trying local dishes.

Like the saying goes, "Chinese

people eat anything with four legs except for table", I 'delighted'

my taste buds by

trying various dishes eventhough I'm not a Chinese.

One of the challenges was smiling politely to my host while showing enthusiasm to try their delicacies eventhough the food on the plate doesn't seem....well.... palatable.

But of course, there are food which are

yummylicious and appealing to my own specific liking...

C'est bon la vie..

2008-08-26T21:22:00.010+08:00

Ola, como es tas?

Haven't blog in while due to brain dead, cramped life events and undeniable laziness..

Can say that, all and all, c'est bon la vie.. well, my life is!

Especially when come weekends, where my life's tempo is tune down several notch to an indie kindda song...

not my fault..

2008-07-13T22:24:00.005+08:00

It is not my fault.

He never laugh with her the way he laughs with me.

He never share silly jokes or comments with her like he does with me.

He never cried in front of her like he always cried his eye balls out when he is with me.

And so, he left her.

Not because he was in love with me.

It is because he wasn't himself when he was with her.

So, it's not my fault.

It was never my fault.

choices to suicide in KK..

2008-07-10T00:38:00.009+08:00

No.1 - Hike up to the canopy walk of Poring Hot Spring, Ranau. Option to jump from big oak trees are available in several 'docks'. The height, as well as the breath taking view will definitely takes your breath away. Literally.

No.2 - Snorkelling in Manukan Island without a jumpsuit on a jelly fish season. The sting will thrill you to death.

No 3 - Hiking Mount Kinabalu with slippers, jeans and t-shirt at 23 degrees, fogging and rainy season. Thinning of oxygen level as you go up will suffocate you. Not to mention, you'll be soaked and shivering to the bones. And don't bring any water. A sure way to die in nature.
.
.
Dah, habis merepek.
Pls oh pls...pls let me be able to sleep now..

he said things..

2008-07-06T19:54:00.021+08:00

Late November night, as they sat opposite each other in McDonalds, a guy told a girl,

"Take pride missy, the feeling is mutual."

Couples at nearby tables would have heard what he said, but the girl could not help but doubt her own hearing. She felt her cheek burning and did not know how to react. Deep inside, her heart flutters but her head does not savvy.

He might have said things for the sake of saying something.

Months passed, and he never spoke about what has been said that night. It was as if he had never said anything and the McDonald moment was soon forgotten.

Her curiosity grew and she confronted him. He acted dumb and avoided the subject. And right then the girl knew she had been blinded, believing in someone who's not man enough to stand by his own words.

As the female clan would see it, he's a jerk. And like all the jerks in the world, they tend to say things that means nothing..

[p/s: From Jann's point of view, the guy's a pussy..meowwwwwww..]

"limited edition" kembara..

2008-06-17T22:36:00.005+08:00

I bengang.

I know it's a small accident, no injuries and bla bla bla.. but I'm so pissed off that my first car got bang from the front by some matsalleh yang tak reti pandang belakang bila reverse. Just got the car last two months... fcuked up!

My car's kangaroo bar and front bumper is dented. Now my KEMBARA looks like a new limited edition KEMBARA with the first ever model to have a kangaroo bar that goes in the bumper instead of sticking out as somekind of protection (I reckon).

On top of that, need to go through the hassle of making police report and getting the car fix in Perodua Service Center. Oh, the matsalleh is sooo gonna pay to replace original KEMBARA kangaroo bar and bumper....good luck with that!

Suckssss..

Today reflects the true meaning of SHIT HAPPENS...

indiana jones..

2008-05-24T23:30:00.008+08:00

Okay, this is a spoiler for those who haven't seen Indiana Jones: The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

In my opinion, it could have been better. I was expecting a wrap up as great as LOTR III to all the Indiana Jones series. But heck, suddenly got UFO. Yeah..you got me right. I never expected a presence of a bunch of skeleton-like aliens with crystal skulls. And listen to this, the crystal skull has magnetic energy that attract metals for what ever reason, I don't know. And yeah, the kid turns out to be Indiana's son. Surprise? Not at all. Boohooo...even my grandma can guess that.

Anyways, overall can be categorize as okay laaaa... Entertaining enough to make me stay awake albeit the fact I had a long day at work, rush back home and drive like a mad cow to catch the show at 10pm.

All and all, I don't know about you people, but I'll be sticking to the more sensible Indiana Jones trilogy storyline..

better than sex..

2008-05-18T16:14:00.003+08:00

Bon Appétit!!

leaving on a jet plane..

2008-05-11T21:32:00.007+08:00

All my life, I have always been the spectator - the one who watch everyone leave and fly far beyond. I am the one who always supports and waited patiently for everyone to come back and hear all sorts of stories from their adventures.

And because of that, I have always been bias, thinking that it's easier to leave rather than to be the one who have to wait in vain and be self-sacrificing. Boy, now that my turn has finally come, I get my own feel of being the one who is in the other side of the fence. I tell ya', it's no easy deal.

Thou' the idea of living out of a suitcase seems ideal for me who loves to expect the unexpected, leaving my mother alone is a problem. I worry too much. That's me in nature. Thou' I can't deny I feel glad to finally have my own space as mom can drive me up the wall and ceiling most times, a sense of responsibility as a daughter kicked in whenever the thoughts of her living alone in KL crossed my mind.

And it's hard to let go of what I have now. My life is finally wee bit balance with stability in income and social life. Life's good, in short. To start the whole process of uncertainty and adventure, yet again, seems....taxing. I haven't had enough rest!

What ever it is, I'm not suppose to complaint much. Opportunity must be snatch! Thou' I forsee hardwork and sheer endurance in near future and the fact that I know for sure that I will be bitching 24 x 7...it's something that I must do. Because that's what building a career is all about. Maybe by being away from potential distractions (e.g; mom, friends, lovelife, cats, traffic jam..and all other comfort zones), will be a good thing after all. I need to be and stay focus to make it alive. It's a tough world out there, it's not only a rat race, it's to finish the race by being the first to reach the line in most minimal time and yet as the fattest rat.. ;p

Still... it's hard to leave..

profoundly soulful

2008-03-29T11:22:00.003+08:00

The best version of "If I ain't got you" by Alicia Keys I've ever heard so far..

guys, we are so going!!!

2008-03-20T14:47:00.008+08:00

Can't wait till April to come to experience some awesome awesome awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee adrenaline rush moments!

Let's see who will be the last man (or ehem...should I say, WOMAN) standing.. *smirk*

[Note to other peeps: Sorry guys, I've been asking tons of you peeps to go since 2006 and some since 2005, and you guys keep on delaying with thousand and one alasan, so I can't wait no more. I'm going this 19th, confirmed!]

la Gioconda's smile..

2008-03-20T08:59:00.021+08:00

I dreamt of him again last night.

It has been almost a year and a half since he passed away, but I am still in mourn. And I am grieving more and more these days. I guess he was right after all. He always told me that I am a slow catcher when it comes to seeing a clear picture of what is inside my heart.

I remember not shedding a tear when I was delivered the news of his passing. All I could do at that time was continue to live my life as usual and that was what I thought I was doing. But little did I realized that I was actually refusing to see my close friends for months and would rather be alone and quiet.

I would like to believe I am much better now.

As hard as it is, I accepted the fact that he suffered from cancer and he died. And he is in much better place now (I hope) than counting his last days with all the throwing up and losing his hair. His passing made me more aware that life is indeed short, thus, what ever time left must be put into good use.

And I have moved on. I see my friends, confided in them. I talked about him and our growing up years together. And I find myself living with much vigor than before. I am much healthier, my own illness is slowly going off. I am building a career, maybe in banking line or maybe in Nestle since I just got the offer yesterday. And plus I met someone. So, life is much better now with a silver lining up ahead.

But who am I kidding? I know that I still need time, much longer time than I expected. It's as if living with a Mona Lisa's smile - no one has solved the riddle of her smile, no one has read the meaning of her thoughts, only but herself.

never trust your doctor friend..

2008-03-16T22:05:00.006+08:00

D: Will you talk? Or should I beat it out of you?

J: .....

D: Okay, let's start with your left eye. What happen?

J: .....

D: Jann! *pinches me*

J: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....bitch!

D: Well?

J: Okay okay.. you were wrong about the medicine okay.

D: Wrong? Hah! I think you're the one who screwed it up, knowing how you threat pills like candies. Did you take the right dosage?

J: I did!! You sure it's the right drug? You're positively sure? Have you been wrong before?

D: Of course...... but I'm not wrong about the medicine I prescribed you.

J: Oh, that's comforting (with sarcastic undertone). So, you're saying you have been wrong before?

D: Well yeah, but I'm not wrong in this case.

J: You had a case where you have given the wrong medication didn't you? *squinting my swollen eyes*

D: Yes. But I did not precribed the wrong medication this time.

J: But you have been wrong, si?

D: I already told you, yes. It's just a few times laaahhh.

J: Oh....and in those 'few' times, did you know at that moment that you were wrong?

D: ....errrr.... no. *she giggles*

J: AAAAaaaaaaaaarrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

******

End up the medicine she gaves me contains a few percent of Aspirin substance - the very thing that causes me to be hospitalized due to severe allergic reaction last January.

Thanks for trying to kill me, friend....

self-destruct

2008-03-14T18:42:00.003+08:00

I'm such a woman sometimes.

Being a woman can be empowering and liberal, yet when it comes to handling emotions, often 99.8% of women will be defeated by the hormonal fluctuations during our menstrual cycle that causes irritability, fatigue and emotional reactivity.

In short, women tend to be in an emotional wreck. Sometimes we're so emo that we realized we shouldn't be so irrational but there's no fucking way to stop it... and suddenly we end up in tears with no absolute reason at all.

And that's how it's like to be a woman..

kiddos..

2008-03-09T11:59:00.006+08:00

It's easier to be honest to someone I don't give an iota about. I can say whatever is in my head and deliver it straight to my tougue. Gotta say, I feel good about it.

On the other hand, whenever it comes to family and close friends, I automatically filter up to 80% of my original thoughts. Why? Cause most times, I don't agree with what they say and would rather smile or keep quiet or change topic rather than arguing my points. For one thing, it's rather pointless telling the absolute truth to this bunch of people I care for, cause ALL of them are strong-opinionated people - eventhou' their points are always bias and self-centred.

I remember there's few times when I blew up and said what I really feel and they end up crying and sulked for days. Kiddos...

Aahh...life such full of dramas..

simple words..

2008-03-06T23:13:00.002+08:00

I walk down the street.
There is a hole.
I don't see it.
I fall in.
It isn't my fault.
It takes a very long time to get out.
*
*
I walk down the same street.
There is still a deep hole.
I pretend not to see it.
I fall in.
I pretend it's still not my fault.
It takes a long time to get out.
*
*
I walk down the same street.
There is still the same deep hole.
I see it.
I fall in anyway.
It's a habit.
I get out quicker this time.
*
*
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole.
I see it.
I walk around it.
I don't fall in.
*
*
I walk down a different street.

no title..

2008-02-28T22:38:00.003+08:00

sharing a bowl of tomyam glass noodle was never happier with my two cinapeks

[one of my happy moments captured using a 1.3 megapixel camera phone]

Happy moments are short-lived...
Therefore, enjoy while it last..

positivity for positive people..

2008-02-25T21:50:00.008+08:00

I found a book marker stashed in my bagpack as I search for my goggle before hitting the swimming pool.
.
Hhmmm... I thought to myself... How did it get there? I flip it and the other side of the book marker is written:-

"Happiness lies within us.

We may accept the way life isn't what we want it to be or change so that it will be.

The choices of life are endless.

Life is too short to spend worrying or expecting.

Take some time to understand yourself.

Know what you want.

Create your own dreams.

Lead your life forward.

Love, laugh and play.

Happiness comes to those who are willng to believe in it..

..and create it within their own lives."

Hhhhmm..again. Inspirational? Yeahh, for like 5 seconds after reading it.

Thing is, life is much more complex than that. Even when we accept how life is or make changes to get the life we wanted, we'll never be happy. It's perfectly human's nature, we're never satisfied about anything and nothing! And we never know what we want or need until its too late...yada yada yada..

Sigh...generally, I'm never much of a positive thinker anyway, so don't mind me... ;p

art of being cool...

2008-02-20T00:00:00.007+08:00

Rules to be cool. Well, or APPEAR to be cool.

Ehem...

First up, don't talk much. Do the talking with your eyes and body language.

Second, either listen or don't give an iota care of your surrounding. To do the latter, you need to be gorgeous or blessed with certain charismatic looks that can pull it off.

Third, be mysterious. Never answer a question completely - leave it hanging and make people wonder / leave people wondering about you. This is to arouse curiosity.

Where I learn all this? Well... I know someone who likes to act cool where as in reality, he's not cool at all. I suspect he doesn't talk much cause his brain processing uses Celeron processor and he got nothing brilliant to say. And secondly, he listens cause everybody else empowers him and he's not that articulate in conveying his points. And last but not least, he tries to be mysterious cause in truth, he got no mystery in life. Nothing exciting ever happen to him - never got laid, don't have much friends and lives with his grandmother. Plus, his idea of fun is chatting on MIRC and ICQ.. *roll eyes*

There. I've blab it out..

And gosh, I hate it when he calls me 'babe'. It's so NOT cool...

lo sang!

2008-02-17T22:43:00.003+08:00

(photo was taken without permission from some homosapien's blog)

Yee sang!

Yum seng!

Mo tak teng!

Hehehehe...I'm load shit of yee sang already...

pencemaran bunyi..

2008-02-15T22:23:00.002+08:00

SHUT UP~!!!!!!!!!!

God, it's a freaking blast of commotion! I can't sleep for pete's sake!

There's been (and still) a charity celebration night(s) for the past week conducted by ehem...certain election party. The residents are force to "menjayakan majlis" with participation in singing and performing and of course DONATING. All for the purpose of charity and to promote a healthy residential area to live in by way of "perpaduan". Well, they say la kan....

Sorry, no offence. I don't buy that bullshit. Know what I think? It's all lame indirect propaganda. I blame the coming election.

Stop it already! My eardrums are going to pop out anytime soon...

uncomplicated love..

2008-02-14T21:02:00.006+08:00

Love used to be so simple when I was in school.

I had someone who loved me like crazy, but not in that cheesy kind of way. It was simple genuine love. He never expect much in return, in fact, he never expect anything from me. He was the giver and I, being my selfish self was the ultimate taker.

I never really bother to make him happy, I wasn't the type who show much of affection. I was cold on the outside. But I was lucky he knew me well. He knew despite of my outlook, I actually care. And it's amazing how we carried on for years without saying much about it - both of us understand the arrangement.

But now, everything about love needs to be confirmed and clarified. It's not so simple anymore.

Maybe I'm not that simple-minded anymore. I've learned to give and take. I've also pick-up the habit of having expectations - maybe because I was pampered before, maybe because I was never on the giving side before. Expectation became a natural thing in relationship.

Frankly, I've forgotten how it's like to just trust my instinct and somehow "know" that everything will work out fine without hoping or expecting much. I've forgotten how simple and rewarding it is to just leave things as it be. I've forgotten all about the simple gestures.

Maybe its time to remember it again as life is already complicated enough - let love be the simpler thing...

p/s: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ;)

smoochy gooey valentine..

2008-02-11T20:54:00.001+08:00

I overheard a clerk in the office today, saying she wanted to shop for a new vavavoom dress for the coming Valentine's Day. She even told her colleagues that she's taking a half-day leave on that special day to celebrate it with her boyfriend.

Ahhh, I thought to myself -the pre-valentine preparations.

Where the girls will be busy with making themselves look hotter and hoping for something romantica, the guys on the other hand, will be busy counting and saving every penny just to afford a bouquet of flowers and a romantic lobster bisque a deux or any dish as long as its impressive (and burn holes in the pocket!) to make it special for the girls.

Ehem...which usually will cost them minimum RM200 to prepare those two. And ohh, don't forget the Valentine's gift as well! Oh yea babeh...burn holes in the saving accounts with the hike up prices of flowers and absurd price tags on the petite-sized heart shape meals. Even the potkadoted heart shape latte will cause double from the usual price!

Anyway, Valentine always poses as an awesome day for those who are in coupledom, are dreadful for singletons and is of absolutely of no consequences for people who never really care about Valentine.

As a voter for the latter group, I'm indifferent whether I celebrated Valentine or not. For one thing, it's overrated like Titanic (in which I never watch the film ever in my life) and two, there's sunflower everywhere - on the streets, in the shopping malls, in the LRTs and even in McDonalds! I hate it, sunflower's debris makes my nose itch and my eyes watery.

However, despite my current state of singlehood, I never always been single and had past relationships where I had to endure the Valentine's celebrations outside. I never really enjoyed it, maybe its the food, maybe its the ambiance or maybe its just not the right company. Lol~! I'm being mean!! *guffaw*

Got to say, my best Valentine celebration was eons of years ago and it wasn't even on February 14th! It was the weekend after Valentine's and I was kidnapped to a candle light super with the best double-cheese burger I've ever had with fries and a large Coke while playing scrabbles and listening to jazzy tunes. It was simple awesome.. ;)

Although I don't think much of Valentine's Day, I respect those hopeless romantics out there who went all the way to make it a really special moment for their love ones. I think it's a pretty sweet gesture and it shows appreciation of having each other in life.

Anyway, last but not least, be merry on Valentine's Day or any other day. Life's too short to be in a sorry and pathetic state. For those singletons out there, never fret whenever its February. Remember the famous quote? Every dog has it day, haha! And relax, you can't be lonely when you like the person you're alone with..

Either way, hitched or not, cheers to LOVE~!!

right and wrong

2008-02-09T10:47:00.001+08:00

Right and wrong do exist.

Just because you don't know what the right answer is — maybe there's even no way you could know what the right answer is — doesn't make your answer right or even okay.

It's much simpler than that. It's just plain wrong.

al-fatihah..

2008-02-04T10:50:00.000+08:00

I received a shocking news, yet again.

My old friend, Esmanto, a guy who hails from Tawau, Sabah died last friday because of leukemia at the age of 28. Manto, as I call him, is a great friend. He's a cheerful dude who likes to share his stories with me, mostly about the girls he like to pursue.

He told me before that he was sick, but I didn't believe him as exaggerating is his true battlefield. So, I never took his words seriously, thinking that he just wanted some attention from my busy schedule.

When I heard the news from his sister, I couldn't believe that he was truly gone. I even joked around with the sister asking where he truly was and kept on asking her to stop joking around. When the sister broke down and cry, I realized there was incantation of Yaasin in the background. The news was true after all. I was stoned for quite a while before I apologized and listen to what the sister have to say.

Manto's sickness started way back in 2003 but he never told anyone. It worsen throughout the years and he was depending on constant treatments in the hospital about a year ago. He had to stop working as a photographer and was relying on his family for financial support. His condition was critical and was hospitalized last week but he told the doctor he wanted to be discharged and spend his last days with his family members.

Sigh, it's just sad.

I never had the chance to apologized to him and tell him that he was a good friend. I feel awful that I didn't believe him when he told me that he was sick. Come to think of it, I blame him for being so playful all the time. Dying people supposed to be emotional and angry, especially when they know that they're going to die at such a young age.

Hmm.. I can't write anymore. Sedih giler. Al-fatihah is all I can give to him right now..

don't work in a bank...

2008-01-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

No mood and idea to write about anything these days.
Might ditch this blog for awhile..

*yawn*
*yawn*
*yawn*

God, banking industry is so rigid.
Trust me, its full of protocols and policies, plus the workload will literally suck the daylights out of you! My days of watching the sunrise and sunsets will be over in a few months time...

Sigh, no fun...

whale done~!

2008-01-17T16:46:00.001+08:00

What's awesome about being employed by the 'Big Boys' is the opportunity to go for ample of trainings. That was what my awesome giler2 ex-college mates turned colleagues and myself did for the past three days.
Besides than free food and valid excuse to skip work, we had fun meeting with the rest of the newbies and playing games. One of the activities we did was presentation of what we need to know and obligations as employee via drawings.
Above picture display about Anti-Money Laundering Act that my group presented. Our group had the most interesting colourful drawings (self-proclaimed of course, haha!), thanks to our internal artist, Nic Choe who came all the way from Johor Bahru to attend the training.

All and all, I personally think the training could be structured in a better way.

If I'm still in the company (planning to find a better job) until end of next month, I'll write a feedback to the learning development centre to hire more articulate speakers so that Eu Jin or anybody with Eu Jin's blunt honesty wouldn't make fun of any slips of the tougue by the speakers, with a straight face. Iskhhh....pandang rendah giler!

Heh!..

p/s: I don't belong in a deskjob....

the kick-start of the year..

2008-01-07T22:07:00.000+08:00

** first random picture taken by Ket Seong & Eu Jinn with my camera phone and they make it my wallpaper..

I'm loving my 2008 so far.

It's just great to have a job again (thou' I'm not too thrill with the prospects) but hey, whatever pays the bills~! I'm still in the middle of interviews and applying for a 'proper' Management Trainee programme, preferably NOT in banking! Heck, we'll see about that....I have no choice but to wait and see how things will turn out.

** Never stand beside a Bangla, be it on the streets or on a bus, or u'll end up like this Amoi... photograph by yours truly..

And it's great to catch up with buddies from ages ago, it was seriously unplanned. They thought of me, called me up and walahhhh...and bumped into a few other 'gang' and decided to extend the yumcha session. Met a few potential lepak geng too...and other potential 'ehem', lol.. The guy is soooooooooooooooooo cute!

And I received two of the first wedding invitation for this weekend, a potluck gathering (potluck is getting famous amongst my friends - kedekut nak keluarkan duit sebenarnya, hehe) and a CNY steamboat get-together with my cool no-nagging "married" clans. And on top of that, I'm having annual dinner with my new division and a dinner cum movie marathon cum Mario Brothers 'competition' with a long lost pal from childhood.

** 'dating' at OUG Steven's Corner was 'romanticized' with 5 minutes firework display, thou' pardon my phone camera, the picture is not that clear....its only 1.3 megapixels, so don't expect much..

Aaaahhh..... simply loving the company of peeps.

And the best part of all...........................................I had the best Oreo cheese cake, ribena longan, ketam masak lemak cili padi (and got myself in hospitalized yet again, don't ask), had various lamb dishes....yummy yummy yummy!! And was delighted to the core when I 'hentam' three Krispy Creme donuts, allllllllllllllllllllll the way from Sydney on the same day! Lucky me... I didn't get the chance to snap a picture of it..ehem...more like tak sempat snap pics la cause air liur dah meleleh...hehehe..

** Apple iPhone that belongs to Kevin who already owned some badass Nokia phone and tons of $$$$... he should spend his money on ME, rather than gadgets he can live without.... ;p

Oh.. and I finally got the chance to play around with an iPhone. Thou' some dude I know might not agree with me when I say this.., I find the phone useless except for its cunted graphics. And it was USD399, siap with hacking ntah apa ntah so that the phone's able to support all SIM cards.

Yada yada yada....

I have to end this entry. I have to wake up early and get the 7.15am bus if I don't wish to be stuck in at-least an hour traffic jam in Jalan Genting Kelang... waking up before 9am is the only sucky thing so far, I'm soooooo not a morning person!

let me leave u peeps wt the perfect tune to start 2008..

2007-12-31T14:51:00.000+08:00

Thou' its no fun to be sick and hibernating at home with a massive headache and sore throat on new years eve, I am sure glad that I wouldn't be stuck in traffic jams and ocean of people.

My plans to steamboat with my best pal was not executable because he prefers to spend the time alone by catching up with his newly downloaded porn collection. Sigh, deprived betul laaaa. And another buddy will be spending his new year eve with his parents in Putrajaya. I don't know whether that is simply pathetic or sweet.

For those peeps who invited me to the new year eve's parties/potlucks/drinking-the-night-away-sessions, my apologies, I have a valid reason this year - I'm sick! Come and sniff me if you people don't believe. I smell of sleep and something else..muahahahaha...

Anyways, hope everyone will have a blast on the last day of 2007!

"That's life" by Michael Buble

That's life

That's what all the people say

You're riding high in April

You're shot down in May

I know I'm gonna change that tune

When I'm back on top in June

I say that's life

And as funny as it may seem

Some people get their kicks

Stompin' on your dreams

But I don't let it, let it get me down

'Cause this fine ol' world keeps spinning 'round

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,

A poet, a pawn & a king

I've been up & down & over & out

But I know one thing

Each time I find myself, flat on this face

I pick myself up & get back in the race

That's lifeI can't deny it

I thought of quitting, baby

This heart wasn't gonna buy it

And if I didn't think it was worth one single try

I'd jump right on a big bird & then I'd fly

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,

A poet, a pawn & a king

I've been up & down & over & out

But I know one thing

Each time I find myself, flat on this face

I pick myself up & get back in the race

That's life

That's life & I can't deny it

Many times I thought of cutting out

But my heart won't buy it

But if there's nothing shakin' come this here July

I'm gonna roll

I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball & die

Can't deny it

That's life

2007 in a nutshell...not (part 2)

2007-12-29T17:36:00.000+08:00

....from last entry...

So yeah, I have been thinking about what the future might holds. 2007 marks the end of my 5-years plan that starts in 2003. I have gained most of what I aimed for and along the journey, I had to bear an equal amount of lost too.

As I have said earlier, if I were to sums up what 2007 means to me in a word, I would say, "self-discovery". Though I am still in the dark about what I truly want out of a career, I am now positive of what I want in other aspects in life. At the moment, I still aspire to fulfill my travel goals, get my Masters before the big three-O and I still want to roam free without any strings attached.

Throughout this year, I come to realize that being too nice only gets me bullied by friends without me realizing it in the first place. Frankly, I never really thought of it from that angle until a confidante told me straight to my face. And oddly, thou' being nice and all, I come to realize that I can say NO to people without feeling guilty, a practise I started earlier in the year for my own peace of mind.

And I discover that my religious path is most honest when it is kept between me and God. Though I am not a proper practising Muslim, I have found more solace and serenity by learning about my religion in a discreet manner. Speaking of faith, I realized how much believe I have in certain people in my life including those who has dissapointed me countless times and those who always, without fail, assuring me that everything is going to be okay.

And though I might be an independant woman, I still find comfort and care whenever my close peeps fuss over me. And I realized that all my friends who decided to get married, are the true adults - commitment and responsibilities need to be handle with maturity and guts. Frankly speaking, I rather slay a dragon rather than settling down. In that sense, I guess, I still have doubts whether I am able to sacrifice my freedom and have a real sense of belonging to someone. I know for a fact that I am just not ready for all the shebang. Albeit that, scary as it might be, I'm doing something to get the hang of what the icky love-commitment stuff is all about.

Last but not least, most importantly, throughout 2007, I find it true that nothing is as bad as it seems, be it a matter of life or death, blossom or ruined friendship or whatever not. It is all but a life-cycle of gain and lost. Life goes on, babe.

So, with that in mind, I welcome 2008 with full enthusiasm... ikimashio!

2007 in a nutshell...not (part 1)

2007-12-29T13:51:00.000+08:00

If I were to describe what 2007 is to me in one word, then it would be "self-discovery". Of course knowing my need to elaborate (I am a woman after all), below are some of rumination of this year.

January
I started off 2007 by travelling to here and there, all in the first month of 2007. It was tiring but good. Had the most awesome and fulfilling trip to Hong Kong (the best of all countless times I've been there) and managed to drag my mother to join the island-hopping session in Langkawi. As for Singapore, sigh, was hospitalized due to severe allergic reaction to aspirin - marks yet another near death experience for me.

February
My final year of degree. Started off pretty good actually. Had a few short trips to Bentong, Johor, Malacca and all over KL and PJ area. And had a hot Valentine night, don't get funny ideas. It was really a humid night. ;p

March - July
Slow progress. Was juggling studies, assignments, final year project and part-time jobs and projects. Had absolutely no time for myself and mom babble heaps. Was tired most of the times and neglected all friends - they whacked me.

August
Awesome month. Jess flew back just in time for my 25th birthday. Had a few good weeks with old friends, catching up and updating each other (and others) news. Had an interesting nerve-wrecking first date ever with a guy who wore a checkered shirt and such a klutz. I can't believe how bold and reckless I was to ask him out, considering that he's a friend. But nevertheless, it was the most awesome random thing I did this year.

September - November
Results for first semester was good and was satisfied with my half hard work, heh. Was worrying about everything and nothing. My health deteriorates, got hospitalized twice but managed to keep it a secret from mom. I'm such an amazing liar. And had to face people from my past, it didn't go very well but at least, I did not run or side step the matter. Had an emotional period for two weeks -for myself and other related souls.

Degree done! Adious APIIT and student life! No, I didn't really enjoy it cause it was very taxing to study and find money at the same time. Surprisingly had a few hundred bucks in savings (I can't even remember where it came from) and splurge it on food and one week trip to Penang and Ipoh. Jobless for the WHOLE month - I have no idea why there's no work for me whenever I was so free...sigh.. The craze of applying for permanent jobs starts.

December
Had a temporary job for two weeks. Got a few job offer but I declined. Got sexual harrasted by some fucker and made a police report. Interviewed by UOB and got the job - I'm starting on January 2nd. Was also shortlisted with IBM and went for the Apt Test, but heck, don't think I will be called for any interview laaa... such a gone case. Had visits from a few foreigner buddies and spending time with them was simply splendid - different mentality. It was refreshing.

Been doing some serious thinking about everything and nothing (yet again) as well as future possibilities...

...............................part 2 will be publish tonight...if I rajin laa...

food critic...

2007-12-27T19:58:00.000+08:00

I think I choose a wrong career.

I should be a chef. Or better still, a food critic. I guess most of the people who knew me doesn't know that I used to do on-and-off, part-time writings for now-obsolete Day&Night magazine. I used to check-out eateries and write reviews. Some are publish and most are not, hehe. The pay's quite scrappy too. But nevertheless, I enjoyed going places and trying new food.

*some of the foods are running through my mind right this very minute.... marinated smoked salmon wt lime and coriander, honey-mustard chicken, farfalle wt tuna, pansotti with spinach sauce - mind you, sedap tak terhingga oooOOOoooooooo..*

If every food in this world is HALAL, I would seriousssssssssssssssssly work my way to become World Number.1 Food Critic.. and I might not fit the doors too.. *guffaw*

okane, $$, duit, money, 'chin'..

2007-12-26T18:27:00.000+08:00

Okane, okane, okane!

....something that is scarce these days. Well, at least for me anyways. On top of that, having a family that could not support you is another thing. Not only you lose a place to rely on financially, the relationship within family members are also effected due to the frustration of not having enough money to eat or to pay the bills.

In my case, there's no one I can turn to except for my loyal close friends. I'm blessed to have these people who are willing to help me out when my pocket's in a bullimic state. Thou' I'm thankful that whenever I find myself financial stuck, its just sad that, often the people who help me is not my own family members.

I remember asking help from someone in my family. It taught me a lesson not to ask help from the person again, even if it means I have to eat bread and water for a year. Some say its pride (ego), I call it, harga diri (self-dignity). It's not the same. How low must you go down to ask help from your own flesh and blood? Its bad enough they're not willing to lend a hand, on top of that, they like to lecture like there's no tommorrow. And another thing I pantang datuk nenek is mengungkit....

Sigh, I'm tired of finding money. I really am.

I'm paying for 'debts' that's not even mine in the first place, sigh. And taking care of what is needed when it's not time for me to hold the reign as of yet. Where other peers can enjoy to stay home unemployed for months, I can't afford to have the same luxury. Sometimes I feel like my youth has gone wasted.

Maybe I should marry a rich guy and ask him to settle all the financial nonsense once and for all...maybe then, I'll be happy, walking down the street with a Stuart Weitzman stilettos without any care and problem in the world..

As for my family, they can have my Bata shoes..

xmas gift..

2007-12-25T13:22:00.000+08:00

My phone rang at 5.12 this morning.... I was ready swear...

"Jann..", the voice on the other end said. I'd recognized the voice anytime anyday, I smile while rubbing my left eye.

"I would have kill you for disturbing my beauty sleep but heck..where are you?", I asked.

"Here, where else?", he answered. His tone doesn't sound good.

"You okay there? Spill..", I encouraged him.

There was a long pause and a few sighs before he answer, "I just want to give you a christmas present."

"Err...HOW? By courier service? You know my address la weiiii..", it didn't make sense and I was getting crankier by the minute.

"You're beautiful, I thought you should know that."

This guy must be having too much wine, I told myself. I answer him gravely, "I ammmmm goingggg to killlll youuuu NOW. Can't you tell me that when I'm fully awake and really am pretty?"

He laughed.

He said good night and promised that he would call me again sometime this week. Whatever lah, I thought. Why can't he courier me a mink coat or a blender or something useful? Bank-in money to my account pun bagus... Sigh, doctors are such weirdos...

Merry Christmas anyways, my old friend.

/jann kembang skit.. ;p

time bomb..

2007-12-24T12:45:00.000+08:00

The need to get away intensifies every damn day.

Frustration dwells within, coexisting with dormant rage that can be triggered everytime my annoyance level is tested. I am losing my patience these days to petty things and human antics.

I keep on feeding myself with positive outlooks but who am I kidding? I'm human - human do get ballistic sometimes, it's normal. But the consequences of showing anger usually left me feeling drained and empty instead of relief. Somehow, materialization of rage has been proven so far, to get me, absolutely nowhere.

Yet...it's risking my well-being (physically and mentally) to forbear from going 'meletup'! My migraine and gastric pains are starting to rear it's ugly head again due to the inner turmoil, it is after all psychological-induced illness.

Sigh, my will to make things right is weakening and my faith's fading into oblivion. No mood betul...

cepat la, cepat la, cepatttttt laaaaaaaaaaaa...

2007-12-22T17:32:00.000+08:00

Geshhhhhhh... I hate to wait. Wait for my friends, what for public transportation, wait for my salary to be deposit into my account, wait for those MNCs to call me up for interview (if I'm lucky to be shortlisted that is) and yada yada yada... there's no end to the list.

It's saturday evening and I'm stuck at home. Nothing's wrong but I'm supposed to meet one of my best peep somewhere and she has yet to confirm the place and time. Clock's ticking, it's 5.35pm already! Sigh..I hate to wait in vain...

I can't even sleep either, I think it's the Oldtown Kopitiam ice blended coffee mocha I consumed during lunch. Coffee makes me edgy these days. And my stomach doesn't feel too well either. And I can't freaking read the book I've been meaning to read for quite sometime - something's wrong with my eye sights. NO NO, I will not get a specs or contact lens! Not a geek nor a person who likes to put something in the eyes..

Gosh, what I'm facing now is pure boredom!

***INTERMISSION : Phone rings****

A -e-leeehhhhh, speaking of the devil in Prada and Manolo Blahnik, it's her, the one I'm waiting for. She left her mobile phone at her bf's place, sigh. She'll call again when she can confirms the place and time. Great, patience is such a virtue some great patient human said..

Arrrghhh!!!!

***INTERMISSION 2 : Sms alerts****

From some self-claimed cute ass, "When in Rome, do as the Roman do". What? Huh? I don't get what he's trying to say at all. He must have been bored to death at home too, to actually sms me without any good reason.

Yeah, back to what I was saying... yea, heck, I need to wait again! And the point of this whole entry is.... well, there's no point.

I'm merely bitching nonsense.. siapa suruh baca? hehe..

final year project..

2007-12-22T14:54:00.000+08:00

Something that took me hoursssss to do..

who are you laa....sigh...

2007-12-21T15:19:00.000+08:00

Received an anonymous call about 15 minutes ago.

The male voice claims to be someone from my past, but he didn't want to mention who he was. All the things he described sounds oddly familiar but my memory just aren't able to recall.

Weird thing was, he asked me how my life is lately and how do I fare these days. It's like he's checking up on me. WEIRD giler!!

I ask who he was and he just said, "You will remember who I am."

Huh? Cheh, I have no patience for this kind of guessing games so I said a few foul-words (my mood's pretty bad today). The voice at the other end just laughed and said I haven't change, that I am still ill-tempered as before. My curiosity grew.

I didn't get the chance to say anything else cause after he said, "Jaga diri baik-baik Jannah", he disconnected the line. WHAT THE HELL?? WHO WAS THE MAN????

Don't think I can sleep peacefully tonight... sigh..

#@%$^&^&^%&%#@

2007-12-17T20:19:00.000+08:00

I'm broke.

Very broke. Really broke.

Beyond pengemis broke. Okay, I'm exaggerating.

Luck is just not on my side. Things are just not happening for me now.

But I do believe that every cloud has a silver lining - its all part of living...

/jann's swearing in Tamil

my dude no longer..

2007-12-15T21:29:00.000+08:00

"Hey, your dude was in the [some business magazine name] today. He was involved in the Batu Puteh case with his dad. Apparently, people pertikaikan why the son of AG must be there as well.", Mir said while we were driving in Bangsar Village.

"Really? Yea, I knew about his dad handling the Batu Puteh case but he's in London doing his LLM lar. So, how come he's with his dad now? Erm...", I replied without much care.

Interesting "evolution", I thought to myself.

I knew 'my dude' since high school days. Back then, he was just some boy who plays guitar, failed his accounting paper and irritates me non-stop. Now, he's a career-minded man (and so he claims) and a Federal Counsel representing the country to claim Batu Puteh. See the leap? Understand what I mean by "evolution"?

Somehow, I'm not impressed.

Cause he grew up to be someone I barely knew. I'm aware that people change for the better but I'm not fond of the idea, well, especially not in his case. But heck, who am I to say anything? He's no longer 'my dude'....

mentally challenged..

2007-12-14T14:06:00.000+08:00

My IQ must have been degraded these days. I don't have the urge to read, I really do not have the slighest care of what's going on around me and I hate pretending to be interested in what others find interesting. Everything's such a bore.

It's a desease, I suspect.

Thou' people know more than I do, I never regard myself as less smart. "Read and you shall embrace knowledge", I'd say. Well, I don't read as much these days. Didn't use my power of processing to its full potential either. Plain MALAS and moodless.

And I let myself be proven wrong without saying a word, thou' in my head, the other person could be sooooooooo wrong as well.

What the hell is wrong with me?!!!!

Heck, I need to shake myself out of this decrepit state pronto! I'm not stupid, my MENSA IQ test is above 130 btw.. *smirk*

p/s: some self-proclaimed smartass must be laughing right now... ;Þ

sweet? mushy? i can't remember anymore..

2007-12-14T13:06:00.000+08:00

Found this entry in one of my old blogs.
I can hardly remember anything from my past these days..
My mind's too occupied with current things, like..looking for a good pay job ;Þ

******************************************************************************

TITLE: on that rainy night..
DATE: 11/13/2006 07:39:45 AM

A handwritten forgive-me-note that I slipped under his door years ago.

"You told me that I can count on you for anything. So, I have a request. I need hotchoc and blanket and your shoulder. Ok, that's 3 request. And I don't want to have a talk or discuss anything. Just a quiet moment. Shit, make it four requests. If you can't fulfill that, then forgive me for punching you (who ask you to be so annoying?). Ok, talk to you anytime you're ready."

Ok. It might not sound as pleading as a forgive-me-note should but that was my way of saying I was sorry. And of course he understands immediately. He alway have. That's why he came over to my house on that rainy night (just like tonight), with a blanket and hotchoc in a thermos. And kept me warm by lending his shoulder while we played scrabbles until wee hours. Althou' he didn't say anything, I managed to make him smile as I arrange the small tiles of letters to form the word, 'TRUCE'...

melt away, babe..

2007-12-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

You come to me with a casual flow

And suddenly, my defenses start to go

When you talk to me in that sensual tone

It envelopes me and I lose my self control

Chorus:

An baby I just melt away

Fall like rain

Everytime I see your face

I go off I just want to break it down

Anytime you come around

Maybe I could melt away in your arms

Imagining that you're taking it slow

And so tenderly

'Till the feeling overflows

When you look at me I go soft and cave in

And I can't conceal that I'm slowly weakening

Chorus

You an me in a cloud of reverie

Spin around inside my head unendingly

Thoughts run wild as I sit and rhapsodize

Paint pretty pictures of what I'd do if you were mine

You and me, got a typical thing

And baby, I will melt away in your arms

why I don't argue with friends..

2007-12-09T13:12:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, I see no point in arguing when you can actually discuss.

Secondly, I don't argue/discuss with friends who only support their own opinions and ignore other possibilities or facts that contradict their points. Cehhhh......defeats the purpose of arguing/discussion in the first place when they already have a favoured opinion they just simply want to justify.

Thirdly, I rather choose a less dogmatic approach in relaying my points (heck, most times, I don't give a shit so I rather keep my opinion to myself). The way I see it, friendship is not about winning nor it is a competition of who is right and wrong. What I seek is merely warmth and support.

If they can't open-up to other alternatives and is strongly self-opinionated, please don't EVEN expect me to linger around bantering my point of views... most to most, out of respect, I would only kept quiet or give a shrug.. cause if I would bluntly utter, friends (even the ones who think that they can handle the truth) will get upset with my direct-to-the-core hits..

tarik and rogol jerr...

2007-12-07T01:52:00.000+08:00

"Jannah, how come he never kiss me anymore?", one of my girlfriends asked.

"Huh? Err.... How would I know laaahh! Maybe you have bad breath? Maybe he have bad breath? Heaps of reasons or maybe there's no reason at all.", I aswered.

"Jannah, serious lah. I'm worried. I think he's seeing someone else.", she said.

I rolled my eyes and gave her the unbelievable look while saying, "Babe, relax lah. Apa ni? You're overthinking lah. Ask him straight can or not? Why must go through all the drama? Or just tarik and rogol jer."

"Is that your solution to everything?", she yaps.

"Abuthen? If he's seeing someone, tarik and rogol jer. Then leave him. If he's not kissing you, tarik and rogol jer lah, he will surely respond laaa. Apa susah? Why make it hard? You're already in a relationship with him.", I bluntly uttered.

I don't get women. Not to say that I'm not screwed, I surely am..but in a different way. But girls in general are just....well... complicated and make things more complicated.

Tak kuasa nak layan.. zZZZzzzz is mucho better choice. *shrug*

la vie en rose

2007-12-02T11:02:00.000+08:00

La vie en rose is one of my favourite number from Edith Piaf, besides Non, Je Ne Regretta Rien. Such classics.....great tunes to unwind..

Thou' Piaf is the original singer, I prefer the more relax and slow version of Lisa Ono.

Enjoy..

itadakimasu!

2007-12-01T09:36:00.000+08:00

Darn, my supposedly ranting blog is turning into a food blog, hehe. Ehem...nvm ler kan..

Anyywaysss, had dinner in SAKAE SUSHI in Pavillion yesterday. Awesome, awesome, awesomeeeeeeeeeee salmon rolls and sushi rice! I don't fancy salmon as much normally, cause the ones here in KL are not the fresh ones.

But the ones I had (pic below) was orgasmic. Sedap nak mampus! Reminds me of the ones I had in Fresh Market in Sydney, fresh without the fishy aftertaste.

Tried the grilled squid too, not that awesome. It was just two small squid grilled and dabbed with soy sauce. The taste was bland, nothing to shout or be orgasmic about.

Uh...uhhh... I loveeeeeeeee this. Inari (sweeten toufu skin) with generous portion of Ebikko (fish roe).

This one was entirely new for my sushi-experienced palate - baked cheese soft shell crab sushi roll. But the crab tasted more like eel to me. Loved it nevertheless. =)

I would personally recommend SAKAE SUSHI to everyone. It's slightly expensive from Sushi King and Genki Sushi, but it's worth the dooh. And you people can expect better services and ambiance too..

Ratings? 3 stars for a dating place.. hehe.. Itadakimasu~!

'compensate' my arse..

2007-12-01T09:03:00.000+08:00

One might wonder why the heck did Jannah took a picture of a four slices of kiwi in a bowl for. Well, because there's a story behind it. I was having mix fruits at Kenny Rogers a few days back. Normally, the bowl consist of slices/cubes of watermelon, honeydew, pineapple, kiwi and orange but all I got was only a combination of watermelons and orange.

Of course, being me = the food connoisseur and kiamsiap, *cough*, I complaint to the person in charge. If I remember correctly, his name was Shahrul. Cis, he has such a hamsap face, lol. Back to the story.....to "compensate", he told me he'll give me extra fruits (he have to freaking cut it first!)and will send it to my table.

So, okayyy lorr... I'm not THATTT bitchy anyways (I can be when I'm irritated), so I waited patiently (while tapping my hands and staring about, hehe). He came with a bowl. But boy, was I dumbfounded when I saw that he only gave me FOUR fcuking slices of kiwi!!

"Sorry, but mana honeydew and pineapple?", I asked.

"Oh, yang tu dah takde stock, cik.", hamsap-faced replied.

Wa BENGANG babe..!! I cursed in my superb Cantonese, refused to pay the bowl of fruits and walked out. Eh, of course I paid for the rest laaaaa, just not for the mix fruits.

Moral of the story is, if any of you people want to dine in Kennny Rogers, please visit the ones in Times Square or Kota Raya, the more established ones. Kenny Rogers in Jalan Genting Kelang sucks like hell...

you know who... no, i don't!!!

2007-11-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

"Jannah Zarmani", a despatch announced my name across the HR department. He was holding a gorgeous Godzilla-size bouquet of pink lilies with an extremely small off white coloured card.

Okay, I thought to myself. I must be dreaming, hearing my name being called, as if the flowers were for me, plus in an office where I just started work 3 days ago... it doesn't make sense somehow.

"Miss Jannah Zarmani, flowers for you.", the despatch repeated. I played dumbed - wasn't really sure it was for me.

My boss, Monique, a sturdy looking Aussie woman (she's such a sweet woman actually) tap my shoulder and said in a very heavy southern Aussie accent, "Jannah, you got yourself a bouquet. From your boyfriend, I reckon? That's very sweet of him". I was speechless as I walked over and took the lilies - it was even more beautiful up front.

I opened the small card. It's written.. "To Jannah Zarmani....From : You know who". I double-check the spelling on the card, yup, it was for me! But then, I have no idea who sent me those flowers! I was raking my brain, thinking of a few guys who would dare to pull the stunt.

I was quiet for a while, thinking heavily when Monique tab my shoulders again. I faced her and said bluntly, "Is this a prank? Cause I don't know who sent me this! And if it were to be from my guy, he wouldn't give me the wrong colour. But he got the right flower thou'.." (I personally love WHITE lilies, not pink)

"Maybe the parlor have run out of other colours and they're left with pink.", Monique joked. But I wasn't laughing, somehow I knew it wasn't from the guy I'm currently hanging out with. WHO the hell gave me the flowers??

Frankly, I should be flattered, yes I am a wee bit. But somehow, it's scaring the shit out of me! It could be a stalker for all I know!

I'm thinking.....

..it could probably be a prank by my friends, but then again, it doesn't make sense! Even a simple wrapped lilies without white and purple Baby Breath (the small decoration flowers) can cost up to RM80! The ones I've received definitely cost more than that!

Or maybe a secret admirer? Neehhhh... I'm pretty sure it's someone I know...but who aarrr??? I'm gonna BELASAH the person once I know who - it was embarrasing to receive a HUGE bouquet infront of the whole office okayyyyyy!!

the indo style..

2007-11-27T10:43:00.000+08:00

I'm darn lazy to update my blog these days. Can I just campak some pictures from a karaoke-dinner date with an Indonesian mate and just leave it at that? Heeeeeeee.... Malas la. Serious MALAS..

Pictures:

(1) Satay Padang - the taste was foreign to my palate, but nevertheless interesting.

(2) Indonesian Pecal - its pretty hot according to Adam. I dare not take a bite, cause I was having gastric.

(3) The guy who is blessed with awesome voice. No comment on his looks thou', muahahahahaha!!

Sekian, terima kasih. *wink*

lo que sera sera..

2007-11-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

It's ironic that the more I don’t want to screw things up, then I become extra careful and that’s when stupid things happen.

So, just chill lagi bagus.

If things are bound to be screwed, no matter what measures are taken, it will be screwed in the end.

So, let it be.. maybe some things are better off without meddling.

cockiest line..

2007-11-21T11:02:00.000+08:00

...

"jan, its ok. i like u more than i like my other girl friend, ill do anything to cheer u up cuz ur smile's my smile too, n i jst wanna make sure that ur stupid smile always b the face u show, dont feel bad cuz i do it happilly. anytime."

COCKIEST LINE I'VE EVER HEARD...

God, help me. I need a break...

Why is that, what I want to hear is not all that? Maybe I'm just too straight forward and practical for my own good.

Yesterday's experience was both flattering and an eye opener. Now I'm sure what I want most is just to fly freely without any strings attached.

I'm not cut for commitment. Well, at least, not yet. *shrug*

men are like cabs..

2007-11-18T22:38:00.000+08:00

Men.

They are like cabs. Abundant when not needed.

Thou' it seems I'm flocked with choices, truth is I'm not able to choose one.

I'm still in the phase where I had outgrown the boys of my past but not quite grown into the men of my future.

Sometimes, people say something is better than nothing.

But I don't concur cause in matters of the heart, sometimes nothing is better than something I'm not sure of. There is people's heart at stake.... and mine. Not just some mere game of chase and fun.

So, all I'm able to do at the moment is just to lean back, chill and leave this part of life in God's hand..

penang..

2007-11-18T09:21:00.000+08:00

I went back to Mom's hometown in Sungai Puyu, Butterworth last Sunday. The fresh air comes from the sea and the paddy field was a welcoming breeze.

Shit....malas nak sambung cerita...next time la..hehe..

happy hols..

2007-11-08T14:02:00.000+08:00

Happy Deepavali!

Hey people, drink less todi aight...(who am I kidding) and please don't choke on the abundant tossai and mutton curry.. \^o^/

And happy hols..

Manai..

2007-11-06T12:14:00.000+08:00

Manai is getting married.

Manai, the first guy who ever have the guts to ask me out is getting married.

Manai, the first guy who ever have the guts to ask me out and an eligible bachelor is getting married.

Manai, the first guy who ever have the guts to ask me out, an eligible bachelor and is a catch, is getting married.

Sigh, one less marry-able Malay men in the world.. Don't cry girls.. *grin*

some lesson..

2007-11-05T23:32:00.000+08:00

LESSON LEARNED.

Never tell a person who have a big mouth about some personal thing, even when in desperate times.

All I did was telling BIG MOUTH 10% of the whole story and BIG MOUTH managed to come up with another 90% to "furnish" and complete my story, siap with conclusion yang memalukan. And not only that, BIG MOUTH spread the "padded" story to other friends and walah...... managed to embarassed me in front of them.

I can't even angkat my face or eat more satay.

Lesson learned the hard way.

[Mental note to self = Jann, just shut up. Don't ask questions too.. Just be quiet. Zip it~!]

i dont understand...at all!

2007-11-04T13:03:00.000+08:00

I reckon I'm not cut for all the drama in real life.

It's freaking tiring and I'm in no mood to play along.

I don't have a powerful receptor to detect whether people are angry / tak puas hati / merajuk with me. Sorry lah, I'm just wired that way.

If tak puas hati, come and see me. We'll discuss, rather than tunjuk muka bengang tak tentu pasal.

Angry with me? Please tell me straight to the face and present your points. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize. If not, I'll still apologize for the sake of apologizing and jaga hati. What is there? Nothing to lose, right?

Merajuk? Heck, what did I do? Tell. Dammit, open up your mouth and tell. I suck big time in playing guessing game. Grow up, act like an adult and tell me what's wrong.

See...how can I treat a person like an adult when they sulk like a pimple-faced teenager?

And how come its MY FAULT pulak for being insensitive and ignorant?? Dorang yang emo~~!!

Eeeeee.....tak kuasa nak layan.
Wasting my time and effort.
Whatever..I give up!

Antara anyer dan Jakarta

2007-11-02T12:22:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was in my ol' KL.
But this afternoon, I'm in Jakarta International airport!

With Panau and Ane. (Mir & Kiran)

Wth?
How did it happen so fast?
Easy step = pinjam duit, passport dah ada, return ticket ada.
Apa lagi, packed the essentials and fly la...

Gosh, I'm crazy~!!!

.................
.......................................

Or am I still dreaming of following them?

jalan jalan cari makan..

2007-10-24T11:21:00.000+08:00

Was digging for old business plans but to no avail. Instead I found poyo pictures of myself and my makan geng.

Malacca on 23rd September, 2006.
Must go Malacca again for the Portuguese food. Darn..
Live to eat~!!

predictable answers..

2007-10-21T05:17:00.000+08:00

I posted a question for my friends to answer in Facebook.

"Jannah asks: What's the best option? Leave my man and go for my Masters in Spain or forget about Spain and live with my man? Fuiyooh..soalan cepu emas~!"

Their answers was just as expected especially from Wei-yu and Wils..they just want free accomodation in Spain.. like I don't know you ppl well.. heh.. *lopsided grin*

Stephanie Wei-yu Yap:
nak kena tampar ke? apa jenis soalan ni?? kalau nak stay back- you better kahwin this one, otherwise you better go study and become what i told you to be! a successful politician who will one day rule the world, like mojo jo jo!

Jini Rajendran:
Spain's calling you. If the man is right he lets the woman do what she's got to do.

Muthu Veerapen:
spain..but who is mr.ehem?

Wilson Wong Jun Jie:
easy.. espanol~!

........

some legendary insights..

2007-10-07T12:41:00.001+08:00

When we are young, our whole life is about the pursuit of life's adventure. It's all about being carefree and exploring life to the fullest. Then, we grow up, hit the bumpy road and learn about reality.

We eventually learn to be cautious.

We realized that life is not merely all dandy, we could break a bone or a heart along the way if we are not careful. We look before we leap and sometimes we don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch us.

And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

I reckon, at one point in adulthood, life became serious and we start wanting stability, we started blending in and adjusting. What we used to think of something not quite fitting before, started to fit in slowly. And on the other hand, ironically, some other things that fits before, doesn't really seem to fit in, at the present moment.

Interesting enlightenment, don't you think?

*******************************

[miss jann sempat ber-blogging while counting the countdown of her final year project submittion in 10 freakin' days!! *headache*]

family picture

2007-10-05T17:29:00.000+08:00

Lawa kan?!! LAWA GILER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was taken in a studio - my 25th brithday gift.

Believe it or not, these two sepet women and the matsalleh are my family.. *sweet smile*
We're the Zarmani-Koo-Yap-Southams family..hahahahaha!!

yam-seng, cheers and bismillah.. :)

stress

2007-10-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

Stress.
Nothing works today.
And people just never fail to frustrate me. And when I thought things couldn't get any worse, it did.

I can seriously bitch right now in four different languages but am too worn out. So, I think I'll take a break - make hot Milo kosong, sit back and listen to soothing music.. and maybe soak my feet in luke warm water.. uuhh....de-stress... uuhh...aaaahhh...uuhhh......

la vida es sueno...

2007-10-04T09:34:00.000+08:00

From : +4478********
"Hey woman, I finally realized. I finally get it. I'll be back in August, already bought a ticket home. Where will you be then?"

I smile McDonald style when I received the sms this morning. But geez, I never expected that he would take that loooooooooooooonggg to realize something I've been aware of since both of us were sixteen.

Frankly, I have not the slighest idea where I'll be in future. So many dreams to chase, so little time. And I've made tons of plans for next year, my 2008 schedule is already quite full - something to look forward to. And since I usually make spontaneous trips, hhmm... for all I know, I might be in Sydney or Beijing in coming August. Or maybe Florence!!

So, I left him an offline msg saying, "I'll be where adventure takes me. Plus, I haven't found that spot I would like to call home for the rest of my life yet. Even when you're back and I'm not here, we'll see each other again one fine day. You're sending your kids to my place in the future remember? ;)"

I know for the fact that he won't like the answer but hey, la vida es sueno babe. And I plan to live it my way..

santa maria..

2007-10-03T16:50:00.000+08:00

I WILL drag my ass here no matter what, no matter how many years it will take for me to go to this Cathedral of Santa Maria dei Fiori, Florence in Italy.

There's a story behind it, heh. Of course, for me (and the lucky guy who will go with me to Florence someday) to know and for other people to never find out. *sweet smile*

some petpot while taking a break..

2007-10-02T11:18:00.000+08:00

"Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option", a wise move to defend your sorry heart, that's what I think.

A guarded heart kills relationship - either with your parents, your siblings, your husband or wife, your bestfriends, mere friends and even the relationship you have with your pets!

Sometimes, just let your guard down a little bit and push aside the pride and make someone feel that they matter to you. Treat them as how you would treat yourself eventhou' your good deed will not be return by the same person. Know that life is a cycle and God is fair - for someone else will treat you with the same kindness. (Quote from my late Imran whom directly translated a Japanese idioms for moi)

This is what I call giving without expectations - a therapy for inner peace. Try it, it actually feels good and you will see that you have absolutely nothing to lose..

[p/s: Ohh...Happy 25th birthday today, Mr.F! *wink wink wink*]

fun with SketchUp!

2007-09-29T15:06:00.000+08:00

After three freaking days bercengkang mata, I present you, my 3D layout of an anime retail shop using Google SketchUp.

It's pretty easy to learn and use. All you need to do is be sabar tahap dewa and just get the hang of it and you're off to sketch KLCC Twin Towers! Hehe.. The 3D models are easily downloaded too.

Although initially I was reluctant to do it, reason being it is such tedious work, somehow I'm glad I did it. I had no idea it would be super fun! And it's a great mind workout as well.

Building the layout actually brings back those memories of my Lukisan Kejuruteraan classes back in high school... but back then, it's all white clean drawing paper, sharp 2B pencils and a T-ruler. =)

a satay-fying moment..

2007-09-26T10:31:00.000+08:00

It was such an orgasmic feeling to sunk my teeth on the chunky beef satay and taste its sweet tender texture.

Yummy nak mampus!

I'm speechless, seriously.

No other word to describe the whole experience except for "SATAY-fying"!!!!!!!!

Eerrrppp... scccccccuuuuse me, I burped! *guffaw*

mind soothing remedy..

2007-09-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

"Apple is one of the most valuable remedies for mental depression. The various chemical substances present in this fruit such as vitamin B, phosphorus, and potassium help the synthesis of glutamic acid, which controls the wear and tear of nerve cells. The fruit should be taken with milk and honey. This remedy will act as a very effective nerve tonic and recharge the nerves with new energy and life." - taken from Home Remedies

Heck, I didn't know that apple can be used to soothe choatic mind (or more severe terms = mental depression). What do I have to say about this? Only one word, COOLNESS~! I'm a sucker for apples.. ;)

[Disclaimer: I am neither mental nor psychotic. ;p]

ibu bapa kita..

2007-09-19T02:12:00.000+08:00

Parents. Such a fantastic breed they are, as long as they're not yours.

Talking to my parents is like bullshitting to my former boss and clients - even if nothing is happening (or progressing), I still have to come up with some sort of answer to satisfy everyone.

It is simply ironic that when it comes to my peeps' parents, I'm totally at ease, enjoying their company and wondering why is my friend so uptight while her mother fries my favourite cantonese-style meehoon. But why is that, that when its the other way around, I just can't wait for my parents to finish their meals and stop talking, period?

Gosh, I can never understand how their mind works, that is, maybe....until one fine day (only by God's power), I have brats of my own..

*shrug*

"cooking" man..

2007-09-17T23:29:00.000+08:00

I have a thing for a guy who wears low strung jeans and a shirt (make it stripes) - the rugged look. And what makes him more 'mama-mia' is that he can cook and know his way around a kitchen..

Oh man... so da very sexy! I can say this right, eventhou' now is bulan ramadhan? Heeeeee~!

/jann taking a quickie after doing 4 pages of final year project.. heh! -->> in case my supervisor checks out my blog... *guffaw*

uhuh..whatever..

2007-09-16T23:28:00.000+08:00

I really couldn't give a shit of what people think of me.

I've been feeding myself with my hard earned money and never once ask for their help.
I know people say I'm a show-off and sombong, but frankly, they just don't know the real story and makes assumption based on pure observation.
Truth is, I still can't believe I pull it off all by myself and that I stand on my own two feet to make ends meet. I work hard and I managed.

And I like that about me.
I like the idea of being an independant woman, out-spoken and sarcastic, taking risk and have high goals in life. Bak kata Aflin Shauki - cita-cita biar tinggi, dapat ker tak, belakang kira!

So say whatever, dipersilakan...
I don't even give a teeny weeny care.. *yawn sambil garu lengan*

[opps, sorry cip, wa salah eja nama lu... its Afdlin Shauki.. ;) ]

jealousy..

2007-09-16T01:02:00.001+08:00

Damn you Dr.Wils, I wanna go there first~!!!
Yea yea, aku jealous giler... =Þ

*****************************************************************

Anyways, happy birthday today, dear. You are now officially a quarter century years old!

May God bless you always...gosh, such a cliché. Heh.. Hugs nevertheless.. *wink*

reality check..

2007-09-12T21:14:00.000+08:00

Girl, move on. He's not that into you.

He's doing the 'phase out' thing already! He doesn't call you, he wants his key back and he never iniatiate to see you again. So, honey, please stop making excuses for his behaviour - he's a workaholic lar, blur lar or whatever else lar. Stop being so darn nice! I know its hard to swallow the truth, but you need a reality check - so, I'm giving it to ya'!

Bottom line is, he's NOT into you as much as you think.

Hence, save up whatever left of your pride as a woman, take your tooth brush and all your things out of his house and leave! Don't show tantrum, settle matters the adult way. Trust me on this. Men are not complicated, most times they know what they want. And if they are truly into you, they won't play guessing games and keep you wondering what is up with all the silence.

So, scoot.

There are other worthy men that deserves your time and attention. Or better still, take a long vacation from commitment like myself. Do some soul searching and do something with your life, rather than waiting for Mr.The One to come by. Never put all your eggs in one basket, unless the other party is willing to do the the same.

Rule of thumb from my late Imran = men, if they want you for real, they will show transparency (which I concur 101%). Opening up to a woman is much more terrifying and harder as opposed to emitting standard studly antics and playing 'tha game'.. *shrug*

just because i exist..

2007-09-11T22:24:00.001+08:00

You can't change people.

They change all by themselves. Don't get so worked up just because people don't listen to you or don't see things the way you do. Respect that, different people have different ways of doing things. Show them a little bit of respect, have a little faith in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. No point getting all bitchy about people you don't like anyways...plus, you're just creating a negative outlook that makes you seem unapproachable..and a mental-case (in my opinion).

So, take a deep breath and chill.

Life's ain't about being obnoxious...or having PMS and stomping on clueless people everyday. Yea, people like me, who just happens to be passing by. So, YOU, please down the whole strip of Prozac okay - just the riiiiggghhhhht dosage to lessen your irritation and makes you lovable again...

I'm saying this cause I care...and you know I'm NICE. *wide smile*

when Imran has a point..

2007-09-09T18:07:00.000+08:00

jannz [FYP : 5 weeks] says: i do..miss talking to him

IMRAN says: where is ******* place?
IMRAN says: if its close by..i'm going to personally kick u
IMRAN says: whens he coming back?

jannz [FYP : 5 weeks] says: i nvr ask

IMRAN says: hmm
IMRAN says: u know
IMRAN says: quite some time ago
IMRAN says: there was this man

jannz [FYP : 5 weeks] says: yea?

IMRAN says: his name was alexander graham bell......he invented this thing called a telephone...amazing contraption...it allows u to speak to a person no matter the distance!!! amazing i tell u!
IMRAN says: USE IT!!!!!

jannz [FYP : 5 weeks] says: ahhahahahaha
jannz [FYP : 5 weeks] says: babi

IMRAN says: oink

[It amazes me when Imran uses his dusty brain cells. *guffaw*]

high and spilling..

2007-09-05T17:06:00.000+08:00

I felt like I was high on a jamaican margarita last night.

Only, to be awake and fully aware that I was babbling non-stop to a buddy about my personal life, I couldn't help it. I think its the medicine I took last night -Atarax Hydroxzin tablet and Zyrtec Cetirizine Hydrochloride tablets for my killer gastric pain... just to find out this morning that I took the wrong medication!!

Atarax and Zyrtec are actually sedatives, when taken, resulting in overly-calming effect which holds the responsibility in turning me pliable and loose...BIG TIME!! I was pouring out what's on mind without thinking twice, no filteration whatsoever. OMFG...*red face*.. hopefully that buddy of mine, doesn't think that I'm a spiller..I remember telling him tons of stuff which I'd like to keep private. Oh fcuk..

Damn those pills!! Everyone of them are white in colour and are of the same shape and size!! How would I know which is which?!! Mana wa tau!!!! /jann forgot to read name of the drugs written on the pill strips.. *hide face*

guide for my lost burdened soul..

2007-09-04T14:44:00.000+08:00

Have We not expanded thee thy breast?

And removed from thee thy burden
The which did gall thy back?

And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)?

So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.
Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard,
And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.

-Surah Alam Nasyrah-

tetiba kena marah..

2007-09-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

"Oh, you cut your hair....again", said an aunty while I was buying fish downstairs.

"Yea, I did", I said with a lopsided smile.

"Doesn't suit you. Makes you look like a boy.", she said with a serious tone. If I'd know better, she sounded like she was scolding.

".......Hhmm...", was all I could muster. I gave another smile, thinking that there is no use to speak back to her and busied myself with err...."fishing".

"I'm talking to you, girl. You better keep you hair long the next time. Girls supposed to have long hair", she replied with a stern voice. Then she cut my line, paid the fishmonger and gave me one final glance while shaking her head as in disagree.

I'm like...WHAT THE HELL??? Aunties are either trying to find me a husband or giving advise like I've done some crime in this world... I pity myself sometimes.

FYP..

2007-09-03T18:21:00.001+08:00

Final year project...

I'm finishing my degree next month but haven't have the slightest mood to finish up what needed to be done.

My mind's pretty not there in the confined skull these days. There's piles and piles of 'backlogs' to clean up in a month and seems like I couldn't be bothered to do anything...

Can't let myself fail, that's what I thought. Push me to the brink of madness if need be! Yea, yea. Bunyi cam semangat. Better do something pronto!

;)

2007-09-02T11:26:00.000+08:00

"Mogana, this [show third finger] is the direct translation of YOU"..

Hahaha... can always count on Mir to make me laugh when I can't seem to find a way to smile..

pale comparison..

2007-09-01T21:13:00.001+08:00

Was listening to old Sheila Majid songs, our very own Malaysian jazzy singer. And the first thought that came to mind was how much my dad adored her. He would play the tape over and over again while driving back to Penang... and even when he drives me to school in our white BMW..

Oh boy, how things have changed since then.. both are living in a totally different life now, such a pale comparison of the past.

I'm edgy, emotional and feeling nostalgic.

And having severe gastric pain, sakit puan and massive headache.

Am babbling... its the medicine (and unbalance hormones) talking..

enduring weddings..

2007-08-31T21:57:00.000+08:00

Received four wedding invitations this Sunday. Three of the reception will be at noon -4pm and another one will be a Chinese-style wedding dinner. OMFG..I'll go bulimic surely, if I decide to show up for all.

Let's face it, there's usually about three out of ten weddings that I (or you) can really get excited about and trully want to get my sorry ass to the meaningful events (without having hidden agenda like oogling at men in baju melayu..I'm such a sucker for them!). For the rest of the peeps, well, I just need to "make an appearance" - you know, exchanging fake smiles with aunties and uncles while enduring their famous quote of "KAHWINLAH ANDA SEBELUM ANDA DIKAHWINKAN" and passing along the red-packet...all for the sake of perpetuating the thinly veiled fabrication that I actually care.. seriously...

Plus, the cards says, Miss Jannah Zarmani and partner. I'm pretty sure that other peeps will bring their other half and as usual, will start pestering me to get one pronto if I show up alone. Not to mention, their pesky unwanted advise about love and career. Forgive me for venting here for a sec, but can you people just keep your mouth shut or stuff some food instead? I need space to breathe too.

And to mutual friends of Mr.Ehem and myself, please God please, just leave your sympathetic glance at home. Yea, its written all over your faces! Here's some newsflash - I'm seeing single because all good men are either taken, gay or they decide to devote themselves in some monastry. What's left are guys who have absolutely no clue of what women (or themselves) wants, in which, if I'm stupid enough not to restrain myself from believing there's a silver lining, it will only lead to an extraordinary waste of time. And frankly, I have no energy to start something more than flirting in this century, enough said, full stop

Whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

I'm going full force on sharpening my sarcasm to endure the hassle of "making appearance" this weekend. Come what may.. I WILL bite if provoked. /Jann doing the Bruce Lee's famous celet kat hidung..

pamphlet of vocabs..

2007-08-31T19:46:00.000+08:00

Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom.

The first and only book that I actually fell in love with. Contrary to friends and foe believes, I DO read books....just not triller or some heavy drama (maze storyline) type of book. Nope, not a Grisham's or political-demagogy content fan. That's why I don't read newspaper, lol.

I don't read books these days. My mind's too tired to cope up with the reading. Maybe that's the reason my vocab has gone down the drain and my overall English (spoken and written) is getting worse. My brain's a wee bit slow in catching up jargons and I rarely utter or use any bombastic words anymore. Its like when I open my mouth to speak, I sound like I have a pea-sized brain. Oh, bugger..

I blame Apek for this. Yup, all his fault. For conversing in Manglish.. merogol Bahasa Inggerisku.. ;Þ

Sigh, need to do something about it... its appaling really..

=|

2007-08-30T08:36:00.000+08:00

I wish I can sleep without all the care in the world like Ewok.. can't sleep..can't sleep.. feeling edgy most days..

5.01am..

2007-08-25T05:01:00.000+08:00

Its 5.01 am.

Can't freaking get shut eyes, all thanks to KACIP FATIMAH coffee. Am losing my voice. My lips' red and looks like it has been stung by a bee. My head...whoa~.... pening lalat tahap maksima exponential and I'm sweating like a pig - that is, if pig have sweating glands. I'm not horny thou'.. hehe. My minds' pretty occupied with the gathering earlier - had great companies, good food and a fun atmosphere.... *smile* *smile* *smile*

Wokeh, gotta scoot...!!

Gotta drag my 'liability' ass to work - gotta be in MCA building by 6.30am. Sigh, Miss Jann got no life but work at odd hours with people who seriously need to get another job.. they should follow my footstep, kan bahagia hidup walaupun pocket bulimic... ;)

importanté..

2007-08-23T22:16:00.000+08:00

I keep on asking myself this particular question today - "what's really important in life?". Sadly I couldn't find the answer eventhou' I raked my brain the entire day. I reckon, when it comes to what's really important, it differs to different people. The answer is usually easy to side-step as most of us are overwhelmed in life's chaos and all the dramas, and are busy reaching for the goals in life.

And sometimes, its tempting to dismiss our close ones, in hope that the lost time would be repaid when we finally gloried in our achievements in future. Sometimes, we even postponed today's happiness in hope that one fine day, we will actually find it. But isn't it sadistic that, sometimes, when we tend to hold out for everything we thought we wanted in life, in the end we got away with nothing? All because we dismiss what's important in the first place. Gosh, that's plain sad.

So, tell me. What is really important in life? It irks me that I don't have the answer. I sure hope that someday I'll realized - before the most important thing slips away.

is it just me?

2007-08-21T22:46:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or he's just a bore?
Is it just me or did he woke up on the wrong side of the bed every goddamn day?
Is it just me or there's a rule not to rub him the wrong way?
Is it just me or he's actually a woman dealing with PMS?

Or...
Is it just me, being my plain old self, unconsciously intimidating his over inflated male ego?

jackass got himself a diamond..

2007-08-20T23:18:00.000+08:00

"You know how I am, Jannah. I have temper and no patience whatsoever! And she understands, she know how to handle me. You know how I can be...I'm the coolest easy going guy with my peeps but I am a completely different man when I'm with her. It irks me that she gets me everytime. I don't know what I should do. I know if I give it a try, it will work out. But at the same time, everytime I want to move forward, I stumbled. And I took a step back instead. I think I'm afraid of commitment."

What can I say, bro? You know I can give good advise to peeps but am clueless as a schoolgirl when its my turn to play Juliet. Althou' I'll make the worst Juliet in all history - just not cut for all the drama, I'm sure of one thing. If she can accept the jackass that you are, you're in for a really good deal. ;)

***************************************

Sorry, some additional words I'd like to say.
Bro, be a man pls. Stop being a woman (fickle-minded). Step up to the plate, take a swing and hit homerun already! She ain't waiting for you forever, you know. She's really a good candidate for a life partner.

Hint: She's a sucker for white lilies.

Here's a picture of a gorgeous bouquet of white lilies, just in case you're clueless how white lilies look like.. *shrug*

APIIT Multicultural Night 2007..

2007-08-18T13:17:00.000+08:00

Since its my last year in APIIT, I was thinking.. what the heck, just go laaa.. So there I was last night with my traditional white kebaya and Indonesian batik and Sing with his red Gong Xi Fa Chai shirt.

The event was................. okay la. The sound system was pretty bad thou'. All we can hear was the beat of the background music. Can't hear a thing what was babbled by the emcees. Highlights of the night (for me anyways) was the performance by The Black Tribes, bunch of Africans singing the Raggae beats and soothing numbers. They're bunch of fantastic dancers btw.. ohh.. sooo.. au naturel.. sayang, didn't get to snap pictures of them... I was busy grooving along.. ;p

Sing syiok-syiok snap pics wt leng lui.. And this guy painted himself like PAS supporter without even knowing what PAS is.. cool siot...

Anyways, here's a few snapshots, not as clear thou', mind my cikai Kodak camera.. ;p

The traditional Acheh dance by Indonesian students.. lead by my buddy, Winny Hasfiani. The coordination was simply superb..

Iranian instrumental performance.. Kevin and bunch of guys beside me was cheering for the lady sitting in the middle...it was her voluptious curves that turned them into monkeys... Haih, boys..

That's Adam (jumping lead singer) and Amzar (far left) performing 'I feel good', the NTV7 theme song. Adam promised to sing my fav More Than Words but they changed the song last minute. So, Adam my dear boy, you still owe me that song.. ;)

Yea, we've been stamped by some weird cop mohor/tattoo. Sing and I felt like we were joining some Yakuza clan instead of just entering Multicultural night event....hehe.

Overall, it was okaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy la.

Would be better if I were to sing some Malay ballads or perform some badass tarian Ulik Mayang (yes, I do traditional dance) and if Sing were to sing Isabella or Suci Dalam Debu.. ffuuhh... gamat~!

hamsap taxi driver..

2007-08-14T22:31:00.001+08:00

I was seduced by a fifty-something filthy hamsap cinapek cabbie just now. He keep on asking whether I was sleepy and suggested that I take a nap while he drives me home in his smelly cab. He even asked me all sorts of personal questions.. whether I have a boyfriend, whether I prefer Chinese over Malay for a guy.. yada yada... Gatal nak mampus!

He even tore a piece of..... what I suspect is actually a page from buku kotak-kotak (you know, the one we use for Math in primary school) and scribbled his number. And the way he pass that small piece of paper was juuuuuuuuuusssst some classic move from a hamsap-minded dickhead laaa.... by sliding it up on my right hand.. EEEeewwwwwww... GUGUR my bulu roma!

I took his blardee number of course.., althought I badly wanted to stab him with my keys (substitute for my pepper-spray). Was afraid that he would do something silly if I try to piss him off... like drive me somewhere secluded and turn into a sex maniac or a pychopath. Man, I could sula him really bad if he have that kind of intention!

Thank God, I arrived at my place safely.

Ironic thing is, the hamsap cabbie didn't even want to take the cab fare of RM8.90 from me. He said, (as he was enjoying the view of my chest level), "Adik lawa tak payah bayar. Boleh call I bila-bila..", and gave me a wink as his finishing act! Walaneh, I seriously want to pengsan when he said that secara hamsapnya. A breath later, I just said thanks and gave him a lopsided smile and drag my ass out of his cab ASAP...

THE END.

Apa lagi cerita lu olang mauuu??

playing truant..

2007-08-11T13:44:00.000+08:00

I found this while going through my BBGS 1999 school magazine. I can't make it any bigger la.. Damn.. Click picture to read. ;)

mission aborted : 69% devious plan..

2007-08-11T00:39:00.000+08:00

It started out as something devious that I had in mind.

Instead, the plan was forgotten and I turned into an angel and a sweetheart *muntah darah*. All of the planning to flirt senselessly and make the guy turn red was 'evaporated' when I look up at his innocent suci bersih murni face. I didn't even have the heart to tease him a little. ;Þ

Its refreshing thou', to know that there's still charming lurus bendul guys amongst the chauvinists who polutes the air of Kuala Lumpur these days. But I must say, charming lurus bendul guys must not be too blur, forgetful and have an appalling sense of directions (but its kindda cute to see him go senseless, haha). The ladies would second if I say, we ladies would rather you blur guys to take the lead.. *sweet smile*

notorious high schooler..

2007-08-08T14:19:00.001+08:00

I've been tagged by Dixon a.k.a nama glamour nyer Zen Master to write about my notorious moments in high school. Since I gotta pei min (bagi muka) to the guy, I'll try to cough out something brief and straight forward without all the bombastic jargon shits..

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

#1 - Playing truant. I was the first ever BBGS sudent who received a pink colour warning letter from the Education ministry for not attending school for more than 3 months. Teachers didn't have faith in me and was expecting me to fail miserably in SPM. I proudly managed to give them out-of their-pants shock when I got my results - it was good enough to knock down all the teacher's pet.

#2 - Lust letters. Since its an all girls school, we had all lady teachers as well until one fine day, a male teacher joins in. He was handsome and was swarmed by love letters by young vigigis (vaginas). I could literally muntah darah so I wrote him an anonymous 'lust' letter. Don't really know what trully happened to him after that, all I heard was, he was transfered to some co-et school and was frightened to death of the thoughts of being molested. *smirk*

#3 - Keeping male in an all girls school. It was campfire 1997. Jess, Wei-yu and I decided to stay overnight in one of the classes and was accompanied by a male friend from St.John. Of course, our teachers and other girls doesn't know at that time cause if we were to kantoi, sure mampus exponentially lar. We had to hid him under stacks of desk when the schoolguard checks up on us. Poor guy.

#4 - Conteng dinding sekolah. But of course, I call it ART and CREATIVITY. A mural dedicated to my beloved alma mater. Not any mere humans can draw a cow that looks like a dog, you know. The art looks 'gourmet' btw, nicely drawn under the Centenary Wall of Fame. It's practically a Chagall. *show teeth*

#5 - Broke a teacher's favourite mug on purpose while she took a call from outside her cubicle. I never told anyone this. Not a soul. But I don't fcking care anymore, truth be told. She was a bitch, I did the right thing. *shrug*

#6 - I scoop cat shit and buried it in the long jump sand pad. For others to enjoy the aroma and texture of nature. ;)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Done.
That is all I can think of now.
I'm not going to tag anybody..doubt that they would pei min me. *yawn*

old and wiser (and cynical)

2007-08-08T11:51:00.000+08:00

Celebrated my quarter century birthday in Chillis @ BSC with my closest peeps last Sunday. And we went off to chill in Somo @ Mont Kiara, a really nice place to have drinks and kingkai (thanks to literally-my-own-brother Amir who suggested the place).

One of the highlights of the night was when Joe-the-pâtissier made me this darn CUTE-giler-babi three tier cake with a Snoppy for my birthday! I told Joe that I would have kiss him senseless for being so darn sweet! Well..ONLY if he were a hunk with a sexy pout, haha! I'm amazed with Joe - who have changed his image drastically from a sweet faced boy to a clean-shaven botak tatooed guy. Despite the image shift, he remains as the sweet Joe I've known all along. Its a warm feeling to know that most of my old friends are still the same person underneath their heavy make-ups and macho manly act. *guffaw*

[from left first row: yours truly, Mir, Mut and Peng Hoong]
[from left 2cd row: Darren (Jess's hubby), Jess, Jenn Joe, Wei-yu]

*****

Let me introduce you to them:-

Jess is the longest I've known in the group. Known each other since we were 11 years old. She's practically my life diary and tempat mengadu emotional matters. And Darren, the hubby is the most polite proper matsalleh I've ever met... such a gentleman.

Wei-yu is my long lost twins, we think alike and like the same stuff most times and I can always count on her to catch me when I fall or when I'm short of cash, haha!

Amir is like my own brother whom I've known for 10 years. He's someone I bullied, someone I freeload cash, food and transportation from and am pampered like his own sister. Besides that, he can be quite a spoilt jerk! *guffaw*

Jenn Joe is Jess's church friend whom I met 12 years ago. We went to Add Math tuition together with Timothy the gay (or course Tim claims that he's not one) and Joe's just a sweetheart lar. He used to be somekind of a manager in Starbucks and I used to pau free coffee from him.. ;)

Mut is my Tamil hero idol.. hahaha! He's the most Malay-oriented Indian dude I've ever known and I love him to pieces cause he's just kind hearted and very patient. He teman my Mom and attended my graduation and make sure that my graduation picture is posted in UTM Skudai post. What more can I say?? Oh, and his Deepavali open house is something not to be miss every year! Ooohh.. and he suka janji keling.. (damn, my group memang racist la.. hahaha)

Peeeeennnggg @ Peng Hoong is the most true, calm and collected cinapek among all the cinapeks I know. He's short, sweet and simple, hahahaha! And he's a guy worth keeping. Sun ngor la Peng, Li Mun is still with you these past 7 years right?!

AAAaaaaawwwwww.......... I'm missing them already....

ama appa yingge ayo yo..

2007-08-08T03:20:00.000+08:00

Had a chat with my chirpy aunt this morning.

It was all warm and light talks right until she mentioned 'marriage plan'. I managed to say something back in bullet-train mode (I believe it sounded as perfect as a full line of fluent Tamil with Britsh accent) and cut off the line....purposely. Whoop-see-daisies~!

Of course when she calls back, I blame the Telekom's line. *innocent smile*

[Warnings: Aksi ini tidak sesuai dilakonkan semula kepada makcik, pakcik atau kucing anda. Mereka mungkin akan rasa disindir dan anda mungkin dicakar. Proceed only with cautions.]

free as lady liberty..

2007-08-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

I haven't felt relief in years.

It was all because I was carrying the shame and guilt of messing up a relationship that I trully believed would turn out to be really bumpy yet GREAT and satisfying to the soul, if it was given a chance. The kind of chemistry that comes once or twice in a lifetime.

But as of tonight, I am free of that burden.

Its both liberating and melancholic at the same time. I bet if he reads this, he would say, "Philosophical sial...!!", typical of him. But at last, I can trully put the past behind me. I no longer holds on to the hope for him to return and fulfill his promise. And frankly, I no longer want anything from him except for his own happiness.

Tonight is special. I had a great birthday present indeed,... INNER PEACE. Happy 25th birthday, Jannah Zarmani. ;)

/jann is beginning to smile again..

-:: jannz chatters ::-

Oh my gosh...I'm hitched!

Finally..

eat anything with four legs except a table...

C'est bon la vie..

not my fault..

choices to suicide in KK..

he said things..

"limited edition" kembara..

indiana jones..

better than sex..

leaving on a jet plane..

profoundly soulful

guys, we are so going!!!

la Gioconda's smile..

never trust your doctor friend..

self-destruct

kiddos..

simple words..

no title..

positivity for positive people..

art of being cool...

lo sang!

pencemaran bunyi..

uncomplicated love..

smoochy gooey valentine..

right and wrong

al-fatihah..

don't work in a bank...

whale done~!

the kick-start of the year..

let me leave u peeps wt the perfect tune to start 2008..

2007 in a nutshell...not (part 2)

2007 in a nutshell...not (part 1)

food critic...

okane, $$, duit, money, 'chin'..

xmas gift..

time bomb..

cepat la, cepat la, cepatttttt laaaaaaaaaaaa...

final year project..

who are you laa....sigh...

#@%$^&*^&*^%&%#@

my dude no longer..

mentally challenged..

sweet? mushy? i can't remember anymore..

melt away, babe..

why I don't argue with friends..

tarik and rogol jerr...

la vie en rose

itadakimasu!

'compensate' my arse..

you know who... no, i don't!!!

the indo style..

lo que sera sera..

cockiest line..

men are like cabs..

penang..

happy hols..

Manai..

some lesson..

i dont understand...at all!

Antara anyer dan Jakarta

jalan jalan cari makan..

predictable answers..

some legendary insights..

family picture

stress

la vida es sueno...

santa maria..

some petpot while taking a break..

fun with SketchUp!

a satay-fying moment..

mind soothing remedy..

ibu bapa kita..

"cooking" man..

uhuh..whatever..

jealousy..

reality check..

just because i exist..

when Imran has a point..

#@%$^&^&^%&%#@