battle that I can't win..

I guess I am selfish in a way.

Maybe since my brother died and I've been raised as the only child, I WAS spoiled despite the strict teachings of my parents. Sometimes, its not that I don't realized what Mom wants, but I'm too thickheaded to give in to her. Because the way she does things and her way of thinking is wayyyyyyyyy too different than mine or Papito's, in comparison.

Truth is I miss Papito. And because he's not around due to his silly mistakes and not by my side anymore to listen to my rantings, I bottle up my dissatisfaction. And sometimes, I let it out on Mom. I reckon, its ironic and frustrating that Mom, who bears me for 9 months in her wombs doesn't seem to know me at all. And my dad whom I called Papito, gets me everytime. He respects my space and privacy, unlike Mom, who think she holds the VIP card to enter my every nook and cranny.

At last (out of fed-up), I tell myself, its okay larr. Even if I give her another 25 years, she would still see me as her 5-years old daughter. So, if she doesn't get me, its okay, because I know her. I know what makes her mad, laugh and what she wants from me. I told myself countless times, maybe I should just give in to her, be a little bit more considerate as she have been through a lot of hell too. So yesterday, I pulled out my stack of UNO cards and make two mug of hot Milo... and the atmosphere becomes normal again after a week of silence..

As I was laying the cards, I smiled silently, thinking that it only take her favourite drink and UNO cards to make things right again (not words of apologies). I have such a weird family... ;Þ