Monday, December 15, 2014

Living a Dream..

It's ending...the year of 2014.

I will be turning 33. All is good - health, family and career...............oh how I wish. Sometimes I wish too hard to live in a dream.

In reality, this moment has been the worse turning point of my life. I am not as healthy and active as I used to be. I have gained 28 kg over my ideal weight, yeah..blame the post natal fats. My career is going nowhere, yeah..blame the mismanagement. Financially am broke. Am always broke, never good with money. My other half if way too far on the other half of Malaysia. Leaving me to raise our 2 year old son with the help of my mom. Imagine living with your mother who treats you like a 5 year old when you are already in your thirties - it sucks big time.

I am depressed most of the time and I hate to go home straight away after work.

Gosh, I really feel like I am not cut to settle down with a family. One of the reason is that I realized I am not the typical mother - fuss over my one and only son. I really don't. And my mother strengthen the fact by picking on me daily saying things like, "Go to your son", "He needs your attention.", "You should spend more time with him.". Oh, I really hate when she says any of that.

And there are so many bucket list yet to cross.

I remember being so prepared and confident to be a wife and a mother 5 years ago. Which gradually depleted into nothing over the years - maybe it's the hardship of being married, taking care of everything and living up to my family's expectation. I am their center of universe - like how the earth revolve around the sun.

I am supposed to be happy and content.

Instead I cringed at the thought of going home and rather spend my time at Starbucks with a cup of Caramel Macchiato like I am some carefree singleton.

Gosh..I gotta do something with my life. I am emotionally dying...

Monday, July 27, 2009

Oh my gosh...I'm hitched!

Can't believe I'm married!

Always thought that I would be settling down in my 30s - u know, with hectic job, crazy mother (joking!), negative bank account balance........bla bla bla...


As the saying goes, love knocks you in the head when you least expected it!

I my mind, thousands of things to say but could not quite sum it up in writings, so am just leaving this blog (what I suspect to be my last posting for the year.....or ever, its possible) with a picture of my beloved husband who is also my bestfriends these days and years to come...

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


I'm leaving KL this 30th.

I will head to Penang for Raya celebration and to report to work first thing on the next Monday. I feel kindda trilled with the idea of living out a suitcase - not knowing where I'll stay and not knowing which exact town I'll be covering for work.

Woohhoooooo...let the adventure begin~!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

eat anything with four legs except a table...

The Group HR Manager ask me why I join Company X and my answer wasn't a brilliant one - I just love food!!

Since I never take culinary into serious consideration for a career (I don't know, it never crossed my mind thou I love to cook) and because I could not pursue to become a food critic (because of my religion's say can not eat anything non-halal), the only option to be close to food is either to work in a restaurant or a job in a food manufacturing company! ;p

Work is fun so far.

Was very fortunate to travel around trying local dishes.

Like the saying goes, "Chinese
people eat anything with four legs except for table", I 'delighted'
my taste buds by
trying various dishes eventhough I'm not a Chinese.

One of the challenges was smiling politely to my host while showing enthusiasm to try their delicacies eventhough the food on the plate doesn't seem....well.... palatable.

But of course, there are food which are
yummylicious and appealing to my own specific liking...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

C'est bon la vie..

Ola, como es tas?

Haven't blog in while due to brain dead, cramped life events and undeniable laziness..

Can say that, all and all, c'est bon la vie.. well, my life is!

Especially when come weekends, where my life's tempo is tune down several notch to an indie kindda song...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

not my fault..

It is not my fault.

He never laugh with her the way he laughs with me.

He never share silly jokes or comments with her like he does with me.

He never cried in front of her like he always cried his eye balls out when he is with me.

And so, he left her.

Not because he was in love with me.

It is because he wasn't himself when he was with her.

So, it's not my fault.

It was never my fault.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

choices to suicide in KK..

No.1 - Hike up to the canopy walk of Poring Hot Spring, Ranau. Option to jump from big oak trees are available in several 'docks'. The height, as well as the breath taking view will definitely takes your breath away. Literally.

No.2 - Snorkelling in Manukan Island without a jumpsuit on a jelly fish season. The sting will thrill you to death.

No 3 - Hiking Mount Kinabalu with slippers, jeans and t-shirt at 23 degrees, fogging and rainy season. Thinning of oxygen level as you go up will suffocate you. Not to mention, you'll be soaked and shivering to the bones. And don't bring any water. A sure way to die in nature.
Dah, habis merepek.
Pls oh pls...pls let me be able to sleep now..

Sunday, July 6, 2008

he said things..

Late November night, as they sat opposite each other in McDonalds, a guy told a girl,

"Take pride missy, the feeling is mutual."

Couples at nearby tables would have heard what he said, but the girl could not help but doubt her own hearing. She felt her cheek burning and did not know how to react. Deep inside, her heart flutters but her head does not savvy.

He might have said things for the sake of saying something.

Months passed, and he never spoke about what has been said that night. It was as if he had never said anything and the McDonald moment was soon forgotten.

Her curiosity grew and she confronted him. He acted dumb and avoided the subject. And right then the girl knew she had been blinded, believing in someone who's not man enough to stand by his own words.

As the female clan would see it, he's a jerk. And like all the jerks in the world, they tend to say things that means nothing..

[p/s: From Jann's point of view, the guy's a pussy..meowwwwwww..]

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

"limited edition" kembara..

I bengang.

I know it's a small accident, no injuries and bla bla bla.. but I'm so pissed off that my first car got bang from the front by some matsalleh yang tak reti pandang belakang bila reverse. Just got the car last two months... fcuked up!

My car's kangaroo bar and front bumper is dented. Now my KEMBARA looks like a new limited edition KEMBARA with the first ever model to have a kangaroo bar that goes in the bumper instead of sticking out as somekind of protection (I reckon).

On top of that, need to go through the hassle of making police report and getting the car fix in Perodua Service Center. Oh, the matsalleh is sooo gonna pay to replace original KEMBARA kangaroo bar and bumper....good luck with that!


Today reflects the true meaning of SHIT HAPPENS...

Saturday, May 24, 2008

indiana jones..

Okay, this is a spoiler for those who haven't seen Indiana Jones: The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

In my opinion, it could have been better. I was expecting a wrap up as great as LOTR III to all the Indiana Jones series. But heck, suddenly got UFO. got me right. I never expected a presence of a bunch of skeleton-like aliens with crystal skulls. And listen to this, the crystal skull has magnetic energy that attract metals for what ever reason, I don't know. And yeah, the kid turns out to be Indiana's son. Surprise? Not at all. Boohooo...even my grandma can guess that.

Anyways, overall can be categorize as okay laaaa... Entertaining enough to make me stay awake albeit the fact I had a long day at work, rush back home and drive like a mad cow to catch the show at 10pm.

All and all, I don't know about you people, but I'll be sticking to the more sensible Indiana Jones trilogy storyline..