let me leave u peeps wt the perfect tune to start 2008..

*

Thou' its no fun to be sick and hibernating at home with a massive headache and sore throat on new years eve, I am sure glad that I wouldn't be stuck in traffic jams and ocean of people.

My plans to steamboat with my best pal was not executable because he prefers to spend the time alone by catching up with his newly downloaded porn collection. Sigh, deprived betul laaaa. And another buddy will be spending his new year eve with his parents in Putrajaya. I don't know whether that is simply pathetic or sweet.

For those peeps who invited me to the new year eve's parties/potlucks/drinking-the-night-away-sessions, my apologies, I have a valid reason this year - I'm sick! Come and sniff me if you people don't believe. I smell of sleep and something else..muahahahaha...

Anyways, hope everyone will have a blast on the last day of 2007!

*

*

"That's life" by Michael Buble

*

That's life

That's what all the people say

You're riding high in April

You're shot down in May

I know I'm gonna change that tune

When I'm back on top in June

*

I say that's life

And as funny as it may seem

Some people get their kicks

Stompin' on your dreams

But I don't let it, let it get me down

'Cause this fine ol' world keeps spinning 'round

*

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,

A poet, a pawn & a king

I've been up & down & over & out

But I know one thing

Each time I find myself, flat on this face

I pick myself up & get back in the race

*

That's lifeI can't deny it

I thought of quitting, baby

This heart wasn't gonna buy it

And if I didn't think it was worth one single try

I'd jump right on a big bird & then I'd fly

*

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,

A poet, a pawn & a king

I've been up & down & over & out

But I know one thing

Each time I find myself, flat on this face

I pick myself up & get back in the race

*

That's life

That's life & I can't deny it

Many times I thought of cutting out

But my heart won't buy it

But if there's nothing shakin' come this here July

I'm gonna roll

I'm gonna roll

I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball & die

Can't deny it

That's life

*

2007 in a nutshell...not (part 2)

....from last entry...

So yeah, I have been thinking about what the future might holds. 2007 marks the end of my 5-years plan that starts in 2003. I have gained most of what I aimed for and along the journey, I had to bear an equal amount of lost too.

As I have said earlier, if I were to sums up what 2007 means to me in a word, I would say, "self-discovery". Though I am still in the dark about what I truly want out of a career, I am now positive of what I want in other aspects in life. At the moment, I still aspire to fulfill my travel goals, get my Masters before the big three-O and I still want to roam free without any strings attached.

Throughout this year, I come to realize that being too nice only gets me bullied by friends without me realizing it in the first place. Frankly, I never really thought of it from that angle until a confidante told me straight to my face. And oddly, thou' being nice and all, I come to realize that I can say NO to people without feeling guilty, a practise I started earlier in the year for my own peace of mind.

And I discover that my religious path is most honest when it is kept between me and God. Though I am not a proper practising Muslim, I have found more solace and serenity by learning about my religion in a discreet manner. Speaking of faith, I realized how much believe I have in certain people in my life including those who has dissapointed me countless times and those who always, without fail, assuring me that everything is going to be okay.

And though I might be an independant woman, I still find comfort and care whenever my close peeps fuss over me. And I realized that all my friends who decided to get married, are the true adults - commitment and responsibilities need to be handle with maturity and guts. Frankly speaking, I rather slay a dragon rather than settling down. In that sense, I guess, I still have doubts whether I am able to sacrifice my freedom and have a real sense of belonging to someone. I know for a fact that I am just not ready for all the shebang. Albeit that, scary as it might be, I'm doing something to get the hang of what the icky love-commitment stuff is all about.

Last but not least, most importantly, throughout 2007, I find it true that nothing is as bad as it seems, be it a matter of life or death, blossom or ruined friendship or whatever not. It is all but a life-cycle of gain and lost. Life goes on, babe.

So, with that in mind, I welcome 2008 with full enthusiasm... ikimashio!

2007 in a nutshell...not (part 1)

If I were to describe what 2007 is to me in one word, then it would be "self-discovery". Of course knowing my need to elaborate (I am a woman after all), below are some of rumination of this year.

January
I started off 2007 by travelling to here and there, all in the first month of 2007. It was tiring but good. Had the most awesome and fulfilling trip to Hong Kong (the best of all countless times I've been there) and managed to drag my mother to join the island-hopping session in Langkawi. As for Singapore, sigh, was hospitalized due to severe allergic reaction to aspirin - marks yet another near death experience for me.

February
My final year of degree. Started off pretty good actually. Had a few short trips to Bentong, Johor, Malacca and all over KL and PJ area. And had a hot Valentine night, don't get funny ideas. It was really a humid night. ;p

March - July
Slow progress. Was juggling studies, assignments, final year project and part-time jobs and projects. Had absolutely no time for myself and mom babble heaps. Was tired most of the times and neglected all friends - they whacked me.

August
Awesome month. Jess flew back just in time for my 25th birthday. Had a few good weeks with old friends, catching up and updating each other (and others) news. Had an interesting nerve-wrecking first date ever with a guy who wore a checkered shirt and such a klutz. I can't believe how bold and reckless I was to ask him out, considering that he's a friend. But nevertheless, it was the most awesome random thing I did this year.

September - November
Results for first semester was good and was satisfied with my half hard work, heh. Was worrying about everything and nothing. My health deteriorates, got hospitalized twice but managed to keep it a secret from mom. I'm such an amazing liar. And had to face people from my past, it didn't go very well but at least, I did not run or side step the matter. Had an emotional period for two weeks -for myself and other related souls.

Degree done! Adious APIIT and student life! No, I didn't really enjoy it cause it was very taxing to study and find money at the same time. Surprisingly had a few hundred bucks in savings (I can't even remember where it came from) and splurge it on food and one week trip to Penang and Ipoh. Jobless for the WHOLE month - I have no idea why there's no work for me whenever I was so free...sigh.. The craze of applying for permanent jobs starts.

December
Had a temporary job for two weeks. Got a few job offer but I declined. Got sexual harrasted by some fucker and made a police report. Interviewed by UOB and got the job - I'm starting on January 2nd. Was also shortlisted with IBM and went for the Apt Test, but heck, don't think I will be called for any interview laaa... such a gone case. Had visits from a few foreigner buddies and spending time with them was simply splendid - different mentality. It was refreshing.

Been doing some serious thinking about everything and nothing (yet again) as well as future possibilities...

...............................part 2 will be publish tonight...if I rajin laa...

food critic...

I think I choose a wrong career.

I should be a chef. Or better still, a food critic. I guess most of the people who knew me doesn't know that I used to do on-and-off, part-time writings for now-obsolete Day&Night magazine. I used to check-out eateries and write reviews. Some are publish and most are not, hehe. The pay's quite scrappy too. But nevertheless, I enjoyed going places and trying new food.

*some of the foods are running through my mind right this very minute.... marinated smoked salmon wt lime and coriander, honey-mustard chicken, farfalle wt tuna, pansotti with spinach sauce - mind you, sedap tak terhingga oooOOOoooooooo..*

If every food in this world is HALAL, I would seriousssssssssssssssssly work my way to become World Number.1 Food Critic.. and I might not fit the doors too.. *guffaw*

okane, $$, duit, money, 'chin'..

Okane, okane, okane!

....something that is scarce these days. Well, at least for me anyways. On top of that, having a family that could not support you is another thing. Not only you lose a place to rely on financially, the relationship within family members are also effected due to the frustration of not having enough money to eat or to pay the bills.

In my case, there's no one I can turn to except for my loyal close friends. I'm blessed to have these people who are willing to help me out when my pocket's in a bullimic state. Thou' I'm thankful that whenever I find myself financial stuck, its just sad that, often the people who help me is not my own family members.

I remember asking help from someone in my family. It taught me a lesson not to ask help from the person again, even if it means I have to eat bread and water for a year. Some say its pride (ego), I call it, harga diri (self-dignity). It's not the same. How low must you go down to ask help from your own flesh and blood? Its bad enough they're not willing to lend a hand, on top of that, they like to lecture like there's no tommorrow. And another thing I pantang datuk nenek is mengungkit....

Sigh, I'm tired of finding money. I really am.

I'm paying for 'debts' that's not even mine in the first place, sigh. And taking care of what is needed when it's not time for me to hold the reign as of yet. Where other peers can enjoy to stay home unemployed for months, I can't afford to have the same luxury. Sometimes I feel like my youth has gone wasted.

Maybe I should marry a rich guy and ask him to settle all the financial nonsense once and for all...maybe then, I'll be happy, walking down the street with a Stuart Weitzman stilettos without any care and problem in the world..

As for my family, they can have my Bata shoes..

xmas gift..

My phone rang at 5.12 this morning.... I was ready swear...

"Jann..", the voice on the other end said. I'd recognized the voice anytime anyday, I smile while rubbing my left eye.

"I would have kill you for disturbing my beauty sleep but heck..where are you?", I asked.

"Here, where else?", he answered. His tone doesn't sound good.

"You okay there? Spill..", I encouraged him.

There was a long pause and a few sighs before he answer, "I just want to give you a christmas present."

"Err...HOW? By courier service? You know my address la weiiii..", it didn't make sense and I was getting crankier by the minute.

"You're beautiful, I thought you should know that."

This guy must be having too much wine, I told myself. I answer him gravely, "I ammmmm goingggg to killlll youuuu NOW. Can't you tell me that when I'm fully awake and really am pretty?"

He laughed.

He said good night and promised that he would call me again sometime this week. Whatever lah, I thought. Why can't he courier me a mink coat or a blender or something useful? Bank-in money to my account pun bagus... Sigh, doctors are such weirdos...

Merry Christmas anyways, my old friend.

/jann kembang skit.. ;p

time bomb..

The need to get away intensifies every damn day.

Frustration dwells within, coexisting with dormant rage that can be triggered everytime my annoyance level is tested. I am losing my patience these days to petty things and human antics.

I keep on feeding myself with positive outlooks but who am I kidding? I'm human - human do get ballistic sometimes, it's normal. But the consequences of showing anger usually left me feeling drained and empty instead of relief. Somehow, materialization of rage has been proven so far, to get me, absolutely nowhere.

Yet...it's risking my well-being (physically and mentally) to forbear from going 'meletup'! My migraine and gastric pains are starting to rear it's ugly head again due to the inner turmoil, it is after all psychological-induced illness.

Sigh, my will to make things right is weakening and my faith's fading into oblivion. No mood betul...

cepat la, cepat la, cepatttttt laaaaaaaaaaaa...

Geshhhhhhh... I hate to wait. Wait for my friends, what for public transportation, wait for my salary to be deposit into my account, wait for those MNCs to call me up for interview (if I'm lucky to be shortlisted that is) and yada yada yada... there's no end to the list.

It's saturday evening and I'm stuck at home. Nothing's wrong but I'm supposed to meet one of my best peep somewhere and she has yet to confirm the place and time. Clock's ticking, it's 5.35pm already! Sigh..I hate to wait in vain...

I can't even sleep either, I think it's the Oldtown Kopitiam ice blended coffee mocha I consumed during lunch. Coffee makes me edgy these days. And my stomach doesn't feel too well either. And I can't freaking read the book I've been meaning to read for quite sometime - something's wrong with my eye sights. NO NO, I will not get a specs or contact lens! Not a geek nor a person who likes to put something in the eyes..

Gosh, what I'm facing now is pure boredom!

***INTERMISSION : Phone rings****

A -e-leeehhhhh, speaking of the devil in Prada and Manolo Blahnik, it's her, the one I'm waiting for. She left her mobile phone at her bf's place, sigh. She'll call again when she can confirms the place and time. Great, patience is such a virtue some great patient human said..

Arrrghhh!!!!

***INTERMISSION 2 : Sms alerts****

From some self-claimed cute ass, "When in Rome, do as the Roman do". What? Huh? I don't get what he's trying to say at all. He must have been bored to death at home too, to actually sms me without any good reason.

Yeah, back to what I was saying... yea, heck, I need to wait again! And the point of this whole entry is.... well, there's no point.

I'm merely bitching nonsense.. siapa suruh baca? hehe..

final year project..

Something that took me hoursssss to do..

who are you laa....sigh...

Received an anonymous call about 15 minutes ago.

The male voice claims to be someone from my past, but he didn't want to mention who he was. All the things he described sounds oddly familiar but my memory just aren't able to recall.

Weird thing was, he asked me how my life is lately and how do I fare these days. It's like he's checking up on me. WEIRD giler!!

I ask who he was and he just said, "You will remember who I am."

Huh? Cheh, I have no patience for this kind of guessing games so I said a few foul-words (my mood's pretty bad today). The voice at the other end just laughed and said I haven't change, that I am still ill-tempered as before. My curiosity grew.

I didn't get the chance to say anything else cause after he said, "Jaga diri baik-baik Jannah", he disconnected the line. WHAT THE HELL?? WHO WAS THE MAN????

Don't think I can sleep peacefully tonight... sigh..

#@%$^&*^&*^%&%#@

I'm broke.

Very broke. Really broke.

Beyond pengemis broke. Okay, I'm exaggerating.

Luck is just not on my side. Things are just not happening for me now.

But I do believe that every cloud has a silver lining - its all part of living...


/jann's swearing in Tamil

my dude no longer..

"Hey, your dude was in the [some business magazine name] today. He was involved in the Batu Puteh case with his dad. Apparently, people pertikaikan why the son of AG must be there as well.", Mir said while we were driving in Bangsar Village.

"Really? Yea, I knew about his dad handling the Batu Puteh case but he's in London doing his LLM lar. So, how come he's with his dad now? Erm...", I replied without much care.

Interesting "evolution", I thought to myself.

I knew 'my dude' since high school days. Back then, he was just some boy who plays guitar, failed his accounting paper and irritates me non-stop. Now, he's a career-minded man (and so he claims) and a Federal Counsel representing the country to claim Batu Puteh. See the leap? Understand what I mean by "evolution"?

Somehow, I'm not impressed.

Cause he grew up to be someone I barely knew. I'm aware that people change for the better but I'm not fond of the idea, well, especially not in his case. But heck, who am I to say anything? He's no longer 'my dude'....

mentally challenged..

My IQ must have been degraded these days. I don't have the urge to read, I really do not have the slighest care of what's going on around me and I hate pretending to be interested in what others find interesting. Everything's such a bore.

It's a desease, I suspect.

Thou' people know more than I do, I never regard myself as less smart. "Read and you shall embrace knowledge", I'd say. Well, I don't read as much these days. Didn't use my power of processing to its full potential either. Plain MALAS and moodless.

And I let myself be proven wrong without saying a word, thou' in my head, the other person could be sooooooooo wrong as well.

What the hell is wrong with me?!!!!

Heck, I need to shake myself out of this decrepit state pronto! I'm not stupid, my MENSA IQ test is above 130 btw.. *smirk*

p/s: some self-proclaimed smartass must be laughing right now... ;Þ

sweet? mushy? i can't remember anymore..

Found this entry in one of my old blogs.
I can hardly remember anything from my past these days..
My mind's too occupied with current things, like..looking for a good pay job ;Þ

******************************************************************************

TITLE: on that rainy night..
DATE: 11/13/2006 07:39:45 AM

A handwritten forgive-me-note that I slipped under his door years ago.

"You told me that I can count on you for anything. So, I have a request. I need hotchoc and blanket and your shoulder. Ok, that's 3 request. And I don't want to have a talk or discuss anything. Just a quiet moment. Shit, make it four requests. If you can't fulfill that, then forgive me for punching you (who ask you to be so annoying?). Ok, talk to you anytime you're ready."

Ok. It might not sound as pleading as a forgive-me-note should but that was my way of saying I was sorry. And of course he understands immediately. He alway have. That's why he came over to my house on that rainy night (just like tonight), with a blanket and hotchoc in a thermos. And kept me warm by lending his shoulder while we played scrabbles until wee hours. Althou' he didn't say anything, I managed to make him smile as I arrange the small tiles of letters to form the word, 'TRUCE'...

melt away, babe..

*

You come to me with a casual flow

And suddenly, my defenses start to go

When you talk to me in that sensual tone

It envelopes me and I lose my self control

*

Chorus:

An baby I just melt away

Fall like rain

Everytime I see your face

I go off I just want to break it down

Anytime you come around

Maybe I could melt away in your arms

*

Imagining that you're taking it slow

And so tenderly

'Till the feeling overflows

When you look at me I go soft and cave in

And I can't conceal that I'm slowly weakening

*

Chorus

*

You an me in a cloud of reverie

Spin around inside my head unendingly

Thoughts run wild as I sit and rhapsodize

Paint pretty pictures of what I'd do if you were mine

*

You and me, got a typical thing

You and me, got a typical thing

And baby, I will melt away in your arms

*

why I don't argue with friends..

First and foremost, I see no point in arguing when you can actually discuss.

Secondly, I don't argue/discuss with friends who only support their own opinions and ignore other possibilities or facts that contradict their points. Cehhhh......defeats the purpose of arguing/discussion in the first place when they already have a favoured opinion they just simply want to justify.

Thirdly, I rather choose a less dogmatic approach in relaying my points (heck, most times, I don't give a shit so I rather keep my opinion to myself). The way I see it, friendship is not about winning nor it is a competition of who is right and wrong. What I seek is merely warmth and support.

If they can't open-up to other alternatives and is strongly self-opinionated, please don't EVEN expect me to linger around bantering my point of views... most to most, out of respect, I would only kept quiet or give a shrug.. cause if I would bluntly utter, friends (even the ones who think that they can handle the truth) will get upset with my direct-to-the-core hits..

tarik and rogol jerr...

"Jannah, how come he never kiss me anymore?", one of my girlfriends asked.

"Huh? Err.... How would I know laaahh! Maybe you have bad breath? Maybe he have bad breath? Heaps of reasons or maybe there's no reason at all.", I aswered.

"Jannah, serious lah. I'm worried. I think he's seeing someone else.", she said.

I rolled my eyes and gave her the unbelievable look while saying, "Babe, relax lah. Apa ni? You're overthinking lah. Ask him straight can or not? Why must go through all the drama? Or just tarik and rogol jer."

"Is that your solution to everything?", she yaps.

"Abuthen? If he's seeing someone, tarik and rogol jer. Then leave him. If he's not kissing you, tarik and rogol jer lah, he will surely respond laaa. Apa susah? Why make it hard? You're already in a relationship with him.", I bluntly uttered.

I don't get women. Not to say that I'm not screwed, I surely am..but in a different way. But girls in general are just....well... complicated and make things more complicated.

Tak kuasa nak layan.. zZZZzzzz is mucho better choice. *shrug*

la vie en rose

La vie en rose is one of my favourite number from Edith Piaf, besides Non, Je Ne Regretta Rien. Such classics.....great tunes to unwind..

Thou' Piaf is the original singer, I prefer the more relax and slow version of Lisa Ono.

Enjoy..

itadakimasu!

Darn, my supposedly ranting blog is turning into a food blog, hehe. Ehem...nvm ler kan..

Anyywaysss, had dinner in SAKAE SUSHI in Pavillion yesterday. Awesome, awesome, awesomeeeeeeeeeee salmon rolls and sushi rice! I don't fancy salmon as much normally, cause the ones here in KL are not the fresh ones.

But the ones I had (pic below) was orgasmic. Sedap nak mampus! Reminds me of the ones I had in Fresh Market in Sydney, fresh without the fishy aftertaste.

Tried the grilled squid too, not that awesome. It was just two small squid grilled and dabbed with soy sauce. The taste was bland, nothing to shout or be orgasmic about.

Uh...uhhh... I loveeeeeeeee this. Inari (sweeten toufu skin) with generous portion of Ebikko (fish roe).

This one was entirely new for my sushi-experienced palate - baked cheese soft shell crab sushi roll. But the crab tasted more like eel to me. Loved it nevertheless. =)

I would personally recommend SAKAE SUSHI to everyone. It's slightly expensive from Sushi King and Genki Sushi, but it's worth the dooh. And you people can expect better services and ambiance too..

Ratings? 3 stars for a dating place.. hehe.. Itadakimasu~!

'compensate' my arse..

One might wonder why the heck did Jannah took a picture of a four slices of kiwi in a bowl for. Well, because there's a story behind it. I was having mix fruits at Kenny Rogers a few days back. Normally, the bowl consist of slices/cubes of watermelon, honeydew, pineapple, kiwi and orange but all I got was only a combination of watermelons and orange.

Of course, being me = the food connoisseur and kiamsiap, *cough*, I complaint to the person in charge. If I remember correctly, his name was Shahrul. Cis, he has such a hamsap face, lol. Back to the story.....to "compensate", he told me he'll give me extra fruits (he have to freaking cut it first!)and will send it to my table.

So, okayyy lorr... I'm not THATTT bitchy anyways (I can be when I'm irritated), so I waited patiently (while tapping my hands and staring about, hehe). He came with a bowl. But boy, was I dumbfounded when I saw that he only gave me FOUR fcuking slices of kiwi!!

"Sorry, but mana honeydew and pineapple?", I asked.

"Oh, yang tu dah takde stock, cik.", hamsap-faced replied.

Wa BENGANG babe..!! I cursed in my superb Cantonese, refused to pay the bowl of fruits and walked out. Eh, of course I paid for the rest laaaaa, just not for the mix fruits.

Moral of the story is, if any of you people want to dine in Kennny Rogers, please visit the ones in Times Square or Kota Raya, the more established ones. Kenny Rogers in Jalan Genting Kelang sucks like hell...