Finally..

I'm leaving KL this 30th.

I will head to Penang for Raya celebration and to report to work first thing on the next Monday. I feel kindda trilled with the idea of living out a suitcase - not knowing where I'll stay and not knowing which exact town I'll be covering for work.

Woohhoooooo...let the adventure begin~!!!!!!!

eat anything with four legs except a table...

The Group HR Manager ask me why I join Company X and my answer wasn't a brilliant one - I just love food!!

Since I never take culinary into serious consideration for a career (I don't know, it never crossed my mind thou I love to cook) and because I could not pursue to become a food critic (because of my religion's say can not eat anything non-halal), the only option to be close to food is either to work in a restaurant or a job in a food manufacturing company! ;p

Work is fun so far.

Was very fortunate to travel around trying local dishes.

Like the saying goes, "Chinese

people eat anything with four legs except for table", I 'delighted'

my taste buds by

trying various dishes eventhough I'm not a Chinese.

One of the challenges was smiling politely to my host while showing enthusiasm to try their delicacies eventhough the food on the plate doesn't seem....well.... palatable.

But of course, there are food which are

yummylicious and appealing to my own specific liking...

C'est bon la vie..

Ola, como es tas?

Haven't blog in while due to brain dead, cramped life events and undeniable laziness..

Can say that, all and all, c'est bon la vie.. well, my life is!

Especially when come weekends, where my life's tempo is tune down several notch to an indie kindda song...

not my fault..

It is not my fault.

He never laugh with her the way he laughs with me.

He never share silly jokes or comments with her like he does with me.

He never cried in front of her like he always cried his eye balls out when he is with me.

And so, he left her.

Not because he was in love with me.

It is because he wasn't himself when he was with her.

So, it's not my fault.

It was never my fault.

choices to suicide in KK..

No.1 - Hike up to the canopy walk of Poring Hot Spring, Ranau. Option to jump from big oak trees are available in several 'docks'. The height, as well as the breath taking view will definitely takes your breath away. Literally.



No.2 - Snorkelling in Manukan Island without a jumpsuit on a jelly fish season. The sting will thrill you to death.

No 3 - Hiking Mount Kinabalu with slippers, jeans and t-shirt at 23 degrees, fogging and rainy season. Thinning of oxygen level as you go up will suffocate you. Not to mention, you'll be soaked and shivering to the bones. And don't bring any water. A sure way to die in nature.
.
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Dah, habis merepek.
Pls oh pls...pls let me be able to sleep now..

he said things..

Late November night, as they sat opposite each other in McDonalds, a guy told a girl,

"Take pride missy, the feeling is mutual."

Couples at nearby tables would have heard what he said, but the girl could not help but doubt her own hearing. She felt her cheek burning and did not know how to react. Deep inside, her heart flutters but her head does not savvy.

He might have said things for the sake of saying something.

Months passed, and he never spoke about what has been said that night. It was as if he had never said anything and the McDonald moment was soon forgotten.

Her curiosity grew and she confronted him. He acted dumb and avoided the subject. And right then the girl knew she had been blinded, believing in someone who's not man enough to stand by his own words.

As the female clan would see it, he's a jerk. And like all the jerks in the world, they tend to say things that means nothing..

[p/s: From Jann's point of view, the guy's a pussy..meowwwwwww..]

"limited edition" kembara..

I bengang.

I know it's a small accident, no injuries and bla bla bla.. but I'm so pissed off that my first car got bang from the front by some matsalleh yang tak reti pandang belakang bila reverse. Just got the car last two months... fcuked up!



My car's kangaroo bar and front bumper is dented. Now my KEMBARA looks like a new limited edition KEMBARA with the first ever model to have a kangaroo bar that goes in the bumper instead of sticking out as somekind of protection (I reckon).

On top of that, need to go through the hassle of making police report and getting the car fix in Perodua Service Center. Oh, the matsalleh is sooo gonna pay to replace original KEMBARA kangaroo bar and bumper....good luck with that!


Suckssss..


Today reflects the true meaning of SHIT HAPPENS...

indiana jones..

Okay, this is a spoiler for those who haven't seen Indiana Jones: The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

In my opinion, it could have been better. I was expecting a wrap up as great as LOTR III to all the Indiana Jones series. But heck, suddenly got UFO. Yeah..you got me right. I never expected a presence of a bunch of skeleton-like aliens with crystal skulls. And listen to this, the crystal skull has magnetic energy that attract metals for what ever reason, I don't know. And yeah, the kid turns out to be Indiana's son. Surprise? Not at all. Boohooo...even my grandma can guess that.

Anyways, overall can be categorize as okay laaaa... Entertaining enough to make me stay awake albeit the fact I had a long day at work, rush back home and drive like a mad cow to catch the show at 10pm.

All and all, I don't know about you people, but I'll be sticking to the more sensible Indiana Jones trilogy storyline..

better than sex..

Bon Appétit!!

leaving on a jet plane..

All my life, I have always been the spectator - the one who watch everyone leave and fly far beyond. I am the one who always supports and waited patiently for everyone to come back and hear all sorts of stories from their adventures.

And because of that, I have always been bias, thinking that it's easier to leave rather than to be the one who have to wait in vain and be self-sacrificing. Boy, now that my turn has finally come, I get my own feel of being the one who is in the other side of the fence. I tell ya', it's no easy deal.

Thou' the idea of living out of a suitcase seems ideal for me who loves to expect the unexpected, leaving my mother alone is a problem. I worry too much. That's me in nature. Thou' I can't deny I feel glad to finally have my own space as mom can drive me up the wall and ceiling most times, a sense of responsibility as a daughter kicked in whenever the thoughts of her living alone in KL crossed my mind.

And it's hard to let go of what I have now. My life is finally wee bit balance with stability in income and social life. Life's good, in short. To start the whole process of uncertainty and adventure, yet again, seems....taxing. I haven't had enough rest!

What ever it is, I'm not suppose to complaint much. Opportunity must be snatch! Thou' I forsee hardwork and sheer endurance in near future and the fact that I know for sure that I will be bitching 24 x 7...it's something that I must do. Because that's what building a career is all about. Maybe by being away from potential distractions (e.g; mom, friends, lovelife, cats, traffic jam..and all other comfort zones), will be a good thing after all. I need to be and stay focus to make it alive. It's a tough world out there, it's not only a rat race, it's to finish the race by being the first to reach the line in most minimal time and yet as the fattest rat.. ;p

Still... it's hard to leave..

profoundly soulful

The best version of "If I ain't got you" by Alicia Keys I've ever heard so far..

guys, we are so going!!!

Can't wait till April to come to experience some awesome awesome awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee adrenaline rush moments!

Let's see who will be the last man (or ehem...should I say, WOMAN) standing.. *smirk*

[Note to other peeps: Sorry guys, I've been asking tons of you peeps to go since 2006 and some since 2005, and you guys keep on delaying with thousand and one alasan, so I can't wait no more. I'm going this 19th, confirmed!]

la Gioconda's smile..

I dreamt of him again last night.

It has been almost a year and a half since he passed away, but I am still in mourn. And I am grieving more and more these days. I guess he was right after all. He always told me that I am a slow catcher when it comes to seeing a clear picture of what is inside my heart.

I remember not shedding a tear when I was delivered the news of his passing. All I could do at that time was continue to live my life as usual and that was what I thought I was doing. But little did I realized that I was actually refusing to see my close friends for months and would rather be alone and quiet.

I would like to believe I am much better now.

As hard as it is, I accepted the fact that he suffered from cancer and he died. And he is in much better place now (I hope) than counting his last days with all the throwing up and losing his hair. His passing made me more aware that life is indeed short, thus, what ever time left must be put into good use.

And I have moved on. I see my friends, confided in them. I talked about him and our growing up years together. And I find myself living with much vigor than before. I am much healthier, my own illness is slowly going off. I am building a career, maybe in banking line or maybe in Nestle since I just got the offer yesterday. And plus I met someone. So, life is much better now with a silver lining up ahead.

But who am I kidding? I know that I still need time, much longer time than I expected. It's as if living with a Mona Lisa's smile - no one has solved the riddle of her smile, no one has read the meaning of her thoughts, only but herself.

never trust your doctor friend..

D: Will you talk? Or should I beat it out of you?

J: .....

D: Okay, let's start with your left eye. What happen?

J: .....

D: Jann! *pinches me*

J: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....bitch!

D: Well?

J: Okay okay.. you were wrong about the medicine okay.

D: Wrong? Hah! I think you're the one who screwed it up, knowing how you threat pills like candies. Did you take the right dosage?

J: I did!! You sure it's the right drug? You're positively sure? Have you been wrong before?

D: Of course...... but I'm not wrong about the medicine I prescribed you.

J: Oh, that's comforting (with sarcastic undertone). So, you're saying you have been wrong before?

D: Well yeah, but I'm not wrong in this case.

J: You had a case where you have given the wrong medication didn't you? *squinting my swollen eyes*

D: Yes. But I did not precribed the wrong medication this time.

J: But you have been wrong, si?

D: I already told you, yes. It's just a few times laaahhh.

J: Oh....and in those 'few' times, did you know at that moment that you were wrong?

D: ....errrr.... no. *she giggles*

J: AAAAaaaaaaaaarrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!


******

End up the medicine she gaves me contains a few percent of Aspirin substance - the very thing that causes me to be hospitalized due to severe allergic reaction last January.

Thanks for trying to kill me, friend....

self-destruct

I'm such a woman sometimes.

Being a woman can be empowering and liberal, yet when it comes to handling emotions, often 99.8% of women will be defeated by the hormonal fluctuations during our menstrual cycle that causes irritability, fatigue and emotional reactivity.

In short, women tend to be in an emotional wreck. Sometimes we're so emo that we realized we shouldn't be so irrational but there's no fucking way to stop it... and suddenly we end up in tears with no absolute reason at all.

And that's how it's like to be a woman..

kiddos..

It's easier to be honest to someone I don't give an iota about. I can say whatever is in my head and deliver it straight to my tougue. Gotta say, I feel good about it.

On the other hand, whenever it comes to family and close friends, I automatically filter up to 80% of my original thoughts. Why? Cause most times, I don't agree with what they say and would rather smile or keep quiet or change topic rather than arguing my points. For one thing, it's rather pointless telling the absolute truth to this bunch of people I care for, cause ALL of them are strong-opinionated people - eventhou' their points are always bias and self-centred.

I remember there's few times when I blew up and said what I really feel and they end up crying and sulked for days. Kiddos...

Aahh...life such full of dramas..

simple words..

I walk down the street.
There is a hole.
I don't see it.
I fall in.
It isn't my fault.
It takes a very long time to get out.
*
*
I walk down the same street.
There is still a deep hole.
I pretend not to see it.
I fall in.
I pretend it's still not my fault.
It takes a long time to get out.
*
*
I walk down the same street.
There is still the same deep hole.
I see it.
I fall in anyway.
It's a habit.
I get out quicker this time.
*
*
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole.
I see it.
I walk around it.
I don't fall in.
*
*
I walk down a different street.

no title..

sharing a bowl of tomyam glass noodle was never happier with my two cinapeks

[one of my happy moments captured using a 1.3 megapixel camera phone]

Happy moments are short-lived...
Therefore, enjoy while it last..

positivity for positive people..

I found a book marker stashed in my bagpack as I search for my goggle before hitting the swimming pool.
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Hhmmm... I thought to myself... How did it get there? I flip it and the other side of the book marker is written:-

"Happiness lies within us.

We may accept the way life isn't what we want it to be or change so that it will be.

The choices of life are endless.

Life is too short to spend worrying or expecting.

Take some time to understand yourself.

Know what you want.

Create your own dreams.

Lead your life forward.

Love, laugh and play.

Happiness comes to those who are willng to believe in it..

..and create it within their own lives."

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Hhhhmm..again. Inspirational? Yeahh, for like 5 seconds after reading it.

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Thing is, life is much more complex than that. Even when we accept how life is or make changes to get the life we wanted, we'll never be happy. It's perfectly human's nature, we're never satisfied about anything and nothing! And we never know what we want or need until its too late...yada yada yada..

.

Sigh...generally, I'm never much of a positive thinker anyway, so don't mind me... ;p

art of being cool...

Rules to be cool. Well, or APPEAR to be cool.

Ehem...

First up, don't talk much. Do the talking with your eyes and body language.

Second, either listen or don't give an iota care of your surrounding. To do the latter, you need to be gorgeous or blessed with certain charismatic looks that can pull it off.

Third, be mysterious. Never answer a question completely - leave it hanging and make people wonder / leave people wondering about you. This is to arouse curiosity.

Where I learn all this? Well... I know someone who likes to act cool where as in reality, he's not cool at all. I suspect he doesn't talk much cause his brain processing uses Celeron processor and he got nothing brilliant to say. And secondly, he listens cause everybody else empowers him and he's not that articulate in conveying his points. And last but not least, he tries to be mysterious cause in truth, he got no mystery in life. Nothing exciting ever happen to him - never got laid, don't have much friends and lives with his grandmother. Plus, his idea of fun is chatting on MIRC and ICQ.. *roll eyes*

There. I've blab it out..

And gosh, I hate it when he calls me 'babe'. It's so NOT cool...

lo sang!

(photo was taken without permission from some homosapien's blog)

Yee sang!

Yum seng!

Mo tak teng!

Hehehehe...I'm load shit of yee sang already...

pencemaran bunyi..

SHUT UP~!!!!!!!!!!

God, it's a freaking blast of commotion! I can't sleep for pete's sake!

There's been (and still) a charity celebration night(s) for the past week conducted by ehem...certain election party. The residents are force to "menjayakan majlis" with participation in singing and performing and of course DONATING. All for the purpose of charity and to promote a healthy residential area to live in by way of "perpaduan". Well, they say la kan....

Sorry, no offence. I don't buy that bullshit. Know what I think? It's all lame indirect propaganda. I blame the coming election.

Stop it already! My eardrums are going to pop out anytime soon...

uncomplicated love..

Love used to be so simple when I was in school.

I had someone who loved me like crazy, but not in that cheesy kind of way. It was simple genuine love. He never expect much in return, in fact, he never expect anything from me. He was the giver and I, being my selfish self was the ultimate taker.

I never really bother to make him happy, I wasn't the type who show much of affection. I was cold on the outside. But I was lucky he knew me well. He knew despite of my outlook, I actually care. And it's amazing how we carried on for years without saying much about it - both of us understand the arrangement.

But now, everything about love needs to be confirmed and clarified. It's not so simple anymore.

Maybe I'm not that simple-minded anymore. I've learned to give and take. I've also pick-up the habit of having expectations - maybe because I was pampered before, maybe because I was never on the giving side before. Expectation became a natural thing in relationship.

Frankly, I've forgotten how it's like to just trust my instinct and somehow "know" that everything will work out fine without hoping or expecting much. I've forgotten how simple and rewarding it is to just leave things as it be. I've forgotten all about the simple gestures.

Maybe its time to remember it again as life is already complicated enough - let love be the simpler thing...

p/s: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ;)

smoochy gooey valentine..

I overheard a clerk in the office today, saying she wanted to shop for a new vavavoom dress for the coming Valentine's Day. She even told her colleagues that she's taking a half-day leave on that special day to celebrate it with her boyfriend.

Ahhh, I thought to myself -the pre-valentine preparations.

Where the girls will be busy with making themselves look hotter and hoping for something romantica, the guys on the other hand, will be busy counting and saving every penny just to afford a bouquet of flowers and a romantic lobster bisque a deux or any dish as long as its impressive (and burn holes in the pocket!) to make it special for the girls.

Ehem...which usually will cost them minimum RM200 to prepare those two. And ohh, don't forget the Valentine's gift as well! Oh yea babeh...burn holes in the saving accounts with the hike up prices of flowers and absurd price tags on the petite-sized heart shape meals. Even the potkadoted heart shape latte will cause double from the usual price!

Anyway, Valentine always poses as an awesome day for those who are in coupledom, are dreadful for singletons and is of absolutely of no consequences for people who never really care about Valentine.

As a voter for the latter group, I'm indifferent whether I celebrated Valentine or not. For one thing, it's overrated like Titanic (in which I never watch the film ever in my life) and two, there's sunflower everywhere - on the streets, in the shopping malls, in the LRTs and even in McDonalds! I hate it, sunflower's debris makes my nose itch and my eyes watery.

However, despite my current state of singlehood, I never always been single and had past relationships where I had to endure the Valentine's celebrations outside. I never really enjoyed it, maybe its the food, maybe its the ambiance or maybe its just not the right company. Lol~! I'm being mean!! *guffaw*

Got to say, my best Valentine celebration was eons of years ago and it wasn't even on February 14th! It was the weekend after Valentine's and I was kidnapped to a candle light super with the best double-cheese burger I've ever had with fries and a large Coke while playing scrabbles and listening to jazzy tunes. It was simple awesome.. ;)

Although I don't think much of Valentine's Day, I respect those hopeless romantics out there who went all the way to make it a really special moment for their love ones. I think it's a pretty sweet gesture and it shows appreciation of having each other in life.

Anyway, last but not least, be merry on Valentine's Day or any other day. Life's too short to be in a sorry and pathetic state. For those singletons out there, never fret whenever its February. Remember the famous quote? Every dog has it day, haha! And relax, you can't be lonely when you like the person you're alone with..

Either way, hitched or not, cheers to LOVE~!!

right and wrong

Right and wrong do exist.

Just because you don't know what the right answer is — maybe there's even no way you could know what the right answer is — doesn't make your answer right or even okay.

It's much simpler than that. It's just plain wrong.

al-fatihah..

I received a shocking news, yet again.


My old friend, Esmanto, a guy who hails from Tawau, Sabah died last friday because of leukemia at the age of 28. Manto, as I call him, is a great friend. He's a cheerful dude who likes to share his stories with me, mostly about the girls he like to pursue.

He told me before that he was sick, but I didn't believe him as exaggerating is his true battlefield. So, I never took his words seriously, thinking that he just wanted some attention from my busy schedule.

When I heard the news from his sister, I couldn't believe that he was truly gone. I even joked around with the sister asking where he truly was and kept on asking her to stop joking around. When the sister broke down and cry, I realized there was incantation of Yaasin in the background. The news was true after all. I was stoned for quite a while before I apologized and listen to what the sister have to say.

Manto's sickness started way back in 2003 but he never told anyone. It worsen throughout the years and he was depending on constant treatments in the hospital about a year ago. He had to stop working as a photographer and was relying on his family for financial support. His condition was critical and was hospitalized last week but he told the doctor he wanted to be discharged and spend his last days with his family members.

Sigh, it's just sad.

I never had the chance to apologized to him and tell him that he was a good friend. I feel awful that I didn't believe him when he told me that he was sick. Come to think of it, I blame him for being so playful all the time. Dying people supposed to be emotional and angry, especially when they know that they're going to die at such a young age.

Hmm.. I can't write anymore. Sedih giler. Al-fatihah is all I can give to him right now..

don't work in a bank...

No mood and idea to write about anything these days.
Might ditch this blog for awhile..

*yawn*
*yawn*
*yawn*

God, banking industry is so rigid.
Trust me, its full of protocols and policies, plus the workload will literally suck the daylights out of you! My days of watching the sunrise and sunsets will be over in a few months time...

Sigh, no fun...

whale done~!

What's awesome about being employed by the 'Big Boys' is the opportunity to go for ample of trainings. That was what my awesome giler2 ex-college mates turned colleagues and myself did for the past three days.
Besides than free food and valid excuse to skip work, we had fun meeting with the rest of the newbies and playing games. One of the activities we did was presentation of what we need to know and obligations as employee via drawings.
Above picture display about Anti-Money Laundering Act that my group presented. Our group had the most interesting colourful drawings (self-proclaimed of course, haha!), thanks to our internal artist, Nic Choe who came all the way from Johor Bahru to attend the training.

All and all, I personally think the training could be structured in a better way.

.

If I'm still in the company (planning to find a better job) until end of next month, I'll write a feedback to the learning development centre to hire more articulate speakers so that Eu Jin or anybody with Eu Jin's blunt honesty wouldn't make fun of any slips of the tougue by the speakers, with a straight face. Iskhhh....pandang rendah giler!

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Heh!..

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p/s: I don't belong in a deskjob....

the kick-start of the year..

** first random picture taken by Ket Seong & Eu Jinn with my camera phone and they make it my wallpaper..

I'm loving my 2008 so far.

It's just great to have a job again (thou' I'm not too thrill with the prospects) but hey, whatever pays the bills~! I'm still in the middle of interviews and applying for a 'proper' Management Trainee programme, preferably NOT in banking! Heck, we'll see about that....I have no choice but to wait and see how things will turn out.

















** Never stand beside a Bangla, be it on the streets or on a bus, or u'll end up like this Amoi... photograph by yours truly..

And it's great to catch up with buddies from ages ago, it was seriously unplanned. They thought of me, called me up and walahhhh...and bumped into a few other 'gang' and decided to extend the yumcha session. Met a few potential lepak geng too...and other potential 'ehem', lol.. The guy is soooooooooooooooooo cute!

And I received two of the first wedding invitation for this weekend, a potluck gathering (potluck is getting famous amongst my friends - kedekut nak keluarkan duit sebenarnya, hehe) and a CNY steamboat get-together with my cool no-nagging "married" clans. And on top of that, I'm having annual dinner with my new division and a dinner cum movie marathon cum Mario Brothers 'competition' with a long lost pal from childhood.

















** 'dating' at OUG Steven's Corner was 'romanticized' with 5 minutes firework display, thou' pardon my phone camera, the picture is not that clear....its only 1.3 megapixels, so don't expect much..

Aaaahhh..... simply loving the company of peeps.

And the best part of all...........................................I had the best Oreo cheese cake, ribena longan, ketam masak lemak cili padi (and got myself in hospitalized yet again, don't ask), had various lamb dishes....yummy yummy yummy!! And was delighted to the core when I 'hentam' three Krispy Creme donuts, allllllllllllllllllllll the way from Sydney on the same day! Lucky me... I didn't get the chance to snap a picture of it..ehem...more like tak sempat snap pics la cause air liur dah meleleh...hehehe..


















** Apple iPhone that belongs to Kevin who already owned some badass Nokia phone and tons of $$$$... he should spend his money on ME, rather than gadgets he can live without.... ;p

Oh.. and I finally got the chance to play around with an iPhone. Thou' some dude I know might not agree with me when I say this.., I find the phone useless except for its cunted graphics. And it was USD399, siap with hacking ntah apa ntah so that the phone's able to support all SIM cards.

Yada yada yada....

I have to end this entry. I have to wake up early and get the 7.15am bus if I don't wish to be stuck in at-least an hour traffic jam in Jalan Genting Kelang... waking up before 9am is the only sucky thing so far, I'm soooooo not a morning person!